Daily Meme
The Second Chapter of the Day!
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We headed out, taking the train. Tsuyu sat across from me, hands resting on her lap.
Kaminari had texted earlier, betting I would screw it up somehow. Mina threw in a laughing emoji, and Sero asked how long before I said something stupid. I ignored them.
Toru was going wild with the selfies ever since she found out I could see her. Stupid faces, dumb expressions, random hand gestures—twenty a day, minimum. It was like watching someone discover a mirror for the first time. To anyone else, my gallery looked like security footage of empty classrooms and haunted bathrooms.
Only… I could still see her in them.
I squinted at my phone, flicking through a batch she'd sent during lunch. There she was, mid-derp, puffing one cheek and throwing peace signs with zero coordination. Her reflection stared back at me. Clear as day.
I frowned. "Wait."
That shouldn't be possible.
Even if I could see her with my own eyes, cameras aren't supposed to work. It didn't add up.
"System," I muttered. "What kind of cheat code did you sneak into my optics? Are you screwing with physics now?"
The reply popped up like it was waiting for this exact tantrum.
[YOU'RE WELCOME, BASTARD. NEXT TIME, JUST SAY THANK YOU.]
[CAMERA APP AUTO-PATCHED FOR 'PERCEPTION SYNC.' NOT MY FAULT YOU NEVER READ PATCH NOTES.]
I rubbed my temples. "Of course. You hacked reality. I knew this wasn't see invisible shit."
[YOU'RE WELCOME x2.]
[TORU HAGAKURE SENT 14 IMAGES]
I sighed. "Jesus."
Another notification.
[TORU HAGAKURE SENT 7 MORE IMAGES] (Check here)
I opened them. Toru pulling her cheeks. Toru crossing her eyes. Toru giving a thumbs-up. Toru doing that weird thing where she puffs up one side of her face.
Toru: Describe these to me.
Me: What?
Toru: I CAN'T SEE THEM, DUMBASS. YOU CAN. HOW DO I LOOK?
I stared at my phone.
Me: Like an idiot.
Toru: RUDE.
Me: Honest.
She started typing again.
Toru: Are they cute idiot faces or just dumb idiot faces?
Me: Mostly dumb. Some are cute.
Toru: HA. KNEW IT.
This was going to be a problem.
I felt particularly unhinged, so I decided to send both Mirko and Ryukyu a meme at the same time.
A buff, shirtless fighter holding a bat over his shoulder.
"The bigger the weapon, the better the experience. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed." (Check here)
Mirko immediately reacted with a skull emoji.
Then a crying emoji.
Then a voice message.
I clicked play.
"RYUU, WHAT THE FUCK?!"
I laughed.
Ryukyu?
Oh, she responded too.
With exactly one message:
Ryukyu: Blocked.
I checked. She had not actually blocked me.
I sent back: You say that every time, but here we are.
No response.
Yeah. She was so done with me.
I sighed and stuffed my phone in my pocket.
Tsuyu and I got off the train and walked toward the aquarium.
"Think you'll find long-lost relatives here?" I asked.
Tsuyu blinked. "Ribbit. That's not how it works."
"Are you sure? What if there's a whole frog society in the back rooms?"
She stared at me. "Do you believe everything is a conspiracy?"
"Not everything. Just the important things. Like, I'm pretty sure U.A. is using us as test subjects."
Tsuyu shrugged. "Ribbit. That's just true."
I got our tickets and walked inside. The place was huge. Dim lighting, blue glow from the tanks, a bunch of little kids pressing their faces against the glass like they were trying to merge with the sea life.
Tsuyu walked ahead, scanning the exhibits. "I like the jellyfish."
I glanced at the tank. "Huh. Never really thought about them."
"They don't have brains, bones, or hearts, but they still survive." She tapped the glass lightly. "Some are immortal."
I crossed my arms. "So, your favorite sea creature is an unkillable, floating blob?"
She nodded.
"Alright, fair."
I looked at the passing eight-legged beauty. "Mine is the octopus."
Tsuyu tilted her head. "Oh, why?"
I shrugged. "Two reasons."
She sighed. "One is pussy jokes, right?"
I grinned. "Second is they have lots of brains, lots of hearts, and I believe they have the greatest chance of gaining sentience in the future and dominating the world."
Tsuyu blinked. "Ribbit. That's a weird blend of perversion and admiration."
"Welcome to my worldview," I said, then added with a smirk, "Only if they found a way to not be born poor orphan bastards."
She raised an eyebrow. "What does that have to do with it?"
I gestured vaguely at the tank. "Think about it. Octopuses are already smarter than 90% of humanity. They can solve puzzles, escape traps, mimic their environment, even unscrew jars from the inside. But they die fast. Most don't even make it past a year. No stable upbringing. No passing of knowledge. Every new one starts from scratch, like some reset button keeps slapping evolution in the face."
Tsuyu hummed thoughtfully. "So, you're saying… if they had a way to build on what the last one learned—"
"They would have iPads underwater by now. And probably a monarchy. Little coral thrones. Ceremonial fish. The works."
She gave me a sideways glance. "You are a poor orphan bastard. Worked for you."
I gasped. "Cold! I thought you frogs hated the cold."
She smiled faintly. "We do. But I'm adapting." She then turned back to the jellyfish. "I think you're overestimating them."
"Maybe, but if anything's taking over, it's them. They can squeeze through anything, camouflage, regenerate limbs, and problem-solve. Give them a few centuries, and we're done."
A kid next to us pressed his hands against the glass, eyes wide. "Are octopuses really gonna take over?"
His mom grabbed his shoulders. "Sweetie, don't listen to strangers."
I smirked. "Lady, if they start wearing suits and declaring war, just remember, I called it."
She gave me a weird look before pulling her kid away. Tsuyu exhaled. "You really enjoy saying nonsense to random people."
"They need to be aware of the coming apocalypse." I grinned. "Which I will general. For Pussies of course!"
She didn't even bother responding to that, just moved to the next tank. I followed, watching as she scanned the fish. "You ever eat frog?" I asked.
She side-eyed me. "You ever eat shit?"
"Fair."
A couple walked by, the guy holding his girlfriend's waist like he was afraid she would float away. Tsuyu's gaze lingered on them for half a second before she turned back to the tank.
I moved closer, wrapping my arm around her waist. "Hey, since it is a date, let's go all the way."
Tsuyu side-eyed me, with a small twitch on her eye, but didn't move away. "Nothing happens at the end of the day."
"That's quitter talk."
She let out a quiet croak, still looking at the tank. "You really don't know when to stop."
I leaned in slightly. "I stop when I win."
A kid standing nearby turned to his mom. "Mom, what are they talking about?"
His mom grabbed his hand. "Come on, sweetie, let's look at the clownfish."
Tsuyu flicked my forehead. "That's what you get."
"Worth it." I squeezed her side slightly before letting go. "Alright, what's next?"
She started walking toward the next tank. "Sharks."
We reached a massive glass tunnel with sharks drifting lazily overhead. A group of students in matching uniforms stood nearby, one of them rambling about how sharks needed to keep moving to survive.
We walked through the rest of the aquarium, stopping at different exhibits. The hammerhead sharks got a solid minute of staring. The stingrays hovered like lazy little sea pancakes. The eels looked like they were constantly plotting something. Eventually, stomachs started making demands.
"Let's eat," I said.
She didn't argue.
I paid. She insisted on splitting. I ignored her. She called me stubborn. I called her a freeloader. She let it go.
We found a table, sat down, and ate. Good thing the aquarium serves food other than fish, or I would either starve or make a scene.
Talk bounced around. Her siblings, mostly. How her younger brother was obsessed with jumping off things because he thought his Quirk made him invincible. How her sister was getting into music. How her mom had an iron grip on the household, and how her dad went along with it like a soldier following orders.
"Your turn," she said.
I shrugged. "You already know my mom and Izuku."
"Real parents?"
I leaned back. "Never met them, Mom flatted."
She picked at her food. "Ever wanted to meet your father?"
"Not really."
She watched me for a second but didn't press. I kept eating.
"Was it weird?" she asked after a while. "Growing up with them?"
I shook my head. "Mom made it normal. Izuku was just there, crying about heroes every two seconds."
She nodded, tapping her fingers against the table. "You're fine with it, then?"
"Not much choice. This is just how it is."
She hummed. "Would you want kids?"
I almost choked. "What kind of jump is that?"
She shrugged. "Thinking about family, so I asked."
I sighed. "No clue. Not exactly top priority right now."
She nodded. "Makes sense."
We finished eating.
"Alright, what now?" she asked.
I checked the time. "Depends. You wanna stay out, or we calling it?"
She tapped her chin. "You tired?"
"No."
"Then let's stay out."
"Cool. Where?"
She smirked. "Figure it out."
I sighed. "Of course."
We ended up wandering. Nothing specific, just walking through the city, taking random turns. She stopped at a bookstore. I leaned against a shelf while she flipped through something about frogs. She held up a page, pointing at a picture. "Look, it's me."
It kind of was. Same vibe. Calm. Ready to leap.
"You're like ten times bigger than that," I said.
She flipped the page. "Still cute, though."
"Debatable."
She flicked my arm with the book. "Be nice."
I grabbed a random book and held it up. "Here's you."
She looked at the title. Common Amphibian Diseases.
She smacked me with the book again.
We left the store after that. More walking. More talking. Nothing deep, nothing serious.
When the sun started dipping, she stretched her arms over her head. "Alright, this was fun."
"Yeah."
She looked at me. "So, next time's Mina, huh?"
"Yeah."
She smirked. "Good luck with that."
"She can't be that bad."
Tsuyu just smiled. "You'll see."
We got to the station. Train was already waiting.
She hopped on, turned back. "See you at school."
I nodded. "Later."
Doors closed. Train left. I stood there for a second, then turned and walked the other way.
When I got home, the usual bullshit was waiting for me. Mom sat at the table, looking way too pleased with herself. Izuku was across from her, eyes glued to his notebook like it could protect him from my wrath.
She smiled. "So, Ryuu, how was your date?"
I sighed. "Why do you know about that?"
Izuku hunched lower.
Mom clasped her hands. "Because Izuku told me, of course."
I turned to him. "You little—"
He shot up, eyes wide, hands flailing like I just accused him of kicking puppies.
"She asked!" he cried. "What was I supposed to do—lie? To Mom? Our mom? The woman who bandaged our scraped knees and packed our lunches with little notes? I may be a coward, Ryuu, but I'm not an ingrate!"
I stared.
Mom looked like she would nominate him for sainthood.
I looked at the window and seriously considered jumping out of it.
Mom hummed. "I don't see why it's a problem. You spent a lovely day out with a girl, didn't you?"
I sat down, rubbing my temples. "It wasn't like that."
Izuku peeked over his notebook. "Then what was it like?"
"A normal outing."
Mom chuckled. "Oh, so you normally take girls on dates now?"
I glared. "Can we drop this?"
She sipped her tea. "Sure, sure. Just let me know when I can expect grandkids."
Izuku choked. I groaned.
Mom smirked. "Oh, Ryuu, dear, I'm just saying—you're at that age. And with such a strong, handsome son, it's only natural for girls to—"
I stood up. "Nope. Not doing this."
She leaned forward. "Are you saying you're not interested?"
Mom grabbed my shoulders. "Ryuu, tell me the truth. When am I getting grandkids?"
I pried her hands off. "I'm going to my room."
Mom followed. "Ryuu."
"No."
"Ryuu."
"Stop."
She grabbed my arm. "Ryuu, think of the future!"
I kept walking. "I'm thinking about sleeping."
Izuku called out, "It was Tsuyu this time right?"
I flipped him off over my shoulder.
Mom gasped again. "Wait. Is it multiple girls?"
I slammed my door.
Didn't matter. She kept going. "First with Yaoyorozu at the museum, then Hagakure's portrait! And now Tsuyu? Oh, my son is so popular!"
Izuku's voice came through the door. "It's more than just those three."
Mom gasped so hard I thought she was about to faint. "More?"
I threw a pillow at the door. "Izuku, I'm setting your notebook on fire."
His footsteps retreated quickly. Mom stayed outside, muttering about grandkids.
Bonus Image Here
--
In my Discord, someone posts a lot of pussies. (Looking at you Subaru)
Cats.
If you like cats as much as I do—and by that I mean the kind that randomly walk across your keyboard and somehow delete chapter drafts—you're more than welcome.
discord.gg/q5KWmtQARF
But also.
I'm officially starting Patreon-exclusive content.
What Does That Mean?
Don't worry—all my fics (MHA, HP, etc.) are still 100% free to read. No story beats locked, no plot held hostage behind a paywall.
But if you enjoy the chaos and want even more bullshittery, emotional side-lore, or cursed System files, here's what Patreon gets you:
25+ advance chapters for both fics
Dream logs (a.k.a. the girls' forbidden thoughts about Ryuu they will never admit)
Hero Commission redacted files
Mockumentaries, side POVs, character drama off-camera
Exclusive memes, polls, shitposts, and things I should probably regret
Do You Need It to Enjoy the Story?
Nope.
This is all extra.
Like seasoning. Or trauma.
It's beautiful. It's optional. It's just for those who want to go deeper into the multiverse of weird.
If that's you:
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We've got exclusive content, early chaos, and the kind of emotional damage that comes with a membership badge.
If not?
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NEW: If Ryuu unlocked a new System function next arc, what do you think it would be called? (Share your thoughts!)
(Also give power stones)