Daily Meme
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Most of the guys from both classes looked uncertain about the shared bath. Before anyone could drag out the awkwardness, I dropped my clothes and walked in without hesitation.
"Damn, man, don't you have any shame?" Some guy from 1-B blurted out.
I turned around. "I have nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of."
Kirishima laughed. "Hardening has its limits, but that confidence? Unbreakable."
"Bro, we don't need the full experience," Kaminari groaned, covering his eyes.
Iida cleared his throat. "Midoriya's attitude aside, there is no need to be self-conscious. It is a standard bathhouse setting."
Bakugo clicked his tongue. "Tch. Just get the hell in already."
Mineta looked way too excited. "But the girls' side is just a—"
Shoji grabbed him by the head and dunked him straight into the water.
"WHAT THE HELL, SHOJI?!"
"Shut up."
The rest of the guys got in, some more hesitant than others. The heat kicked in immediately, soaking into sore muscles. The water was clean, no strong chemicals, just natural minerals.
"Man, I needed this," Sero sighed, leaning back.
"Facts," Ojiro agreed. "The trek was brutal."
"Training will be worse," Todoroki said.
"Thanks for the reminder," Kaminari muttered.
Kirishima cracked his knuckles. "Hey, better than sitting in a classroom."
"Speak for yourself," Aoyama said. "My complexion does not benefit from excessive sweating."
Bakugo scoffed. "Then get the hell out."
Aoyama flicked his hair back. "The suffering of beauty is not so simple, mon ami."
Mina's laughter rang from the girls' side. Someone splashed water.
Mineta wiped his face. "Shoji, let me go."
"No."
Kirishima stretched his arms. "How long till someone tries to peek?"
Everyone immediately side-eyed Mineta.
"Come on!" he whined. "You guys act like I'm some kind of criminal!"
"You are," Shoji said.
Kaminari grinned. "Honestly, I'm surprised Ryuu hasn't tried. He's the only one who could get away with it."
Mineta gasped. "Oh my god, you're right! Ryuu, you have a duty to society—"
I dunked him.
Shoji nodded approvingly.
Mineta flailed, resurfacing. "STOP TRYING TO DROWN ME!"
Everyone ignored him.
"I may get away with it, but I woo, I do not creep," I said, kicking water at Kaminari. "Do not mix me with that goblin."
Mineta scoffed. "Tch! As if you are any better!"
Bakugo clicked his tongue. "Shut the hell up, freak. You are the only one here that has to be dragged around like a rabid dog."
Shoji dunked him again, no hesitation.
Kirishima leaned back, arms spread across the edge of the bath. "You really think the girls are talking about the same thing over there?"
Sero shrugged. "Probably. You know Mina's stirring shit."
Bakugo clicked his tongue. "Who gives a shit?"
Kaminari smirked. "Oh, come on. You're telling me you're not curious?"
Bakugo narrowed his eyes. "I'll kill you."
Kaminari backed off immediately. "Noted."
Todoroki tilted his head. "There's a good chance Ashido is making fun of Ryuu's lineup right now."
I sighed. "I don't have a lineup."
Ojiro raised a brow. "Really?"
Kirishima grinned. "Man, don't even try to deny it."
I scoffed. "You're all dramatic as hell."
Mineta resurfaced, gasping. "He's got multiple dates lined up, and he's acting like it's nothing!"
Shoji shoved him down again.
Kaminari stretched. "Alright, but real talk. Who's next?"
I leaned my head back. "Mina."
Sero grinned. "Oh, that's gonna be chaos."
"Yeah," Kirishima laughed. "She's gonna push your limits."
Iida nodded. "Ashido's energy is relentless. It will be an interesting dynamic."
Kaminari smirked. "You ready for that?"
I shrugged. "I'll deal with it."
Bakugo rolled his eyes. "Tch. You're all idiots."
Kirishima grinned. "Come on, man. You gotta admit it's kinda funny."
Bakugo cracked his knuckles. "No, I don't."
I clicked my tongue. "Enough about my lineups. Mingle with Class 1-B. This training should be bonding or some shit. You, Manga Head, what is your name?"
His speech bubble popped up, bold letters floating above his head. "MANGA FUKIDASHI! NICE TO MEET YOU, MIDORIYA!"
I blinked. "Wow, even your name is Manga. How accurate."
"HAHA! RIGHT? LIFE REALLY WROTE ME INTO A CORNER WITH THIS ONE!" The text above his head literally curved into a corner before disappearing.
Kirishima nudged me. "Bro, that's sick. You think he can write essays like that?"
Manga clapped a hand on Kirishima's shoulder. "I WISH! TEACHERS HATE IT!" A floating BZZT sound effect flickered next to him.
Kaminari pointed. "Dude, that's hilarious. Can you do emojis?"
":)"
Kaminari lost it. "Oh my god, that's actually overpowered."
Sero tilted his head. "Wait, what happens if you curse?"
"$%&@!" A cartoon censorship bar popped up over his head.
I laughed. "That's so cheap! Even the air is censoring you!"
Manga threw his hands up. "I KNOW! THE SYSTEM'S RIGGED!" A floating "RIGGED" stamp hovered for a second before fading.
Kaminari laughed, slapping his thigh, "Man, I bet you can't make sound effects."
Fukidashi's head changed into various characters, "KABOOM! CRASH! EXPLOSION NOISES! DRAMATIC MUSIC INTENSIFIES!"
Bakugo gritted his teeth, "The hell did you just say to me?"
Ignoring the idiot, I looked at the rest of Class 1-B. "Well, you guys are cool. Let's get to know each other. Except that blond bastard."
Monoma scoffed, flicking water dramatically. "Ah, typical of Class 1-A to reject the superior intellect of—"
Tetsutetsu grabbed him by the head and shoved him under the water. "Sorry about him."
Kirishima grinned. "Nah, we get it. We got our own problems."
Shoji muttered, "More than one."
Manga's speech bubble popped up—"TEAMWORK!"—before fading.
Kaminari pointed at Tetsutetsu. "Yo, so you're like our Kirishima, right? Just, uh, shinier?"
Tetsutetsu smacked his chest. "Damn right! Tough as hell!"
Kaminari shook his head. "You guys have weird abilities."
Kojiro snorted. "You say that?"
I gave him a side-eye. "Bro, your head is literally a glue dispenser."
Kojiro shrugged. "Still better than short-circuiting every time I sneeze."
Kaminari groaned. "We're still on that?"
Sero smirked. "Always."
Tetsutetsu leaned forward. "Alright, but real talk—how does that even work? Like, does your brain just shut down, or what?"
Kaminari crossed his arms. "It's not that simple! It's more like—" He hesitated. "Okay, yeah, it kind of shuts down."
Fukidashi's speech bubble popped up. "LMAO!"
Kirishima stretched. "Alright, enough about Kaminari's brain damage. What's 1-B got going on?"
Monoma resurfaced, coughing. "And smarter than 1-A."
Kendo's fist wasn't there to stop him this time, so I did the honors and shoved him back under. "Cool, don't care."
"Bro," Manga laughed. "Your whole class just operates on sight-based justice, huh?"
Bakugo scoffed. "Tch. Like they deserve better."
Fukidashi held up a "FACTS" bubble.
Mineta looked at Shishida. "Iida, save me!"
Shishida stared down at him. "What?"
Iida frowned. "I—I am on the opposite side of the bath, and we do not even look alike."
Shishida shook Mineta off. "Do not grab me."
Mineta flailed. "I need a shield!"
Shoji grabbed him by the back of his head. "You need to shut up." He dunked Mineta again, holding him under for an extra second this time.
Sero smirked. "You're getting better at that."
Shoji shrugged. "Practice."
Kirishima grinned. "Tetsutetsu's alright. He's got the right attitude."
Tetsutetsu nodded. "Hell yeah! No point doing this half-assed."
Fukidashi's speech bubble popped up. "GO ALL OUT OR GO HOME!"
Tetsutetsu still glared though, "I'm like you, but better!"
Kirishima grinned, punching his palm, "Bro, you're like me but a knockoff."
Tetsutetsu snorted, "I'M THE ORIGINAL!"
Fukidashi's Speech Bubble ended the stupid convo, "COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT??"
Kaminari laughed. "Dude, I swear, your Quirk is a shitpost generator."
Fukidashi held up another "FACTS" bubble.
Tokoyami muttered, "This bath is becoming chaotic."
Todoroki dipped lower into the water. "It was never calm to begin with."
Mineta resurfaced, coughing. "I hate all of you."
Shoji shoved him back down.
Ojiro crossed his arms. "How has he not learned?"
Sato shrugged. "He doesn't have survival instincts."
After baths, just as we were about to settle in, some random kid showed up, talking big about how he hated heroes.
"Who the fuck is this discounted Inari?" I muttered, side-eyeing the brat. Seriously, same energy—scowling, arms crossed, like the world owed him something.
Izuku, being Izuku, crouched slightly to look at the kid. "Hello, my name is—"
The brat punched him straight into his future offsprings. Big OOF!
Izuku made a noise somewhere between a wheeze and a dying cat before dropping to his knees, clutching his stomach like his entire bloodline depended on it.
A couple of us winced.
"Oof," Kaminari muttered. "That was straight to the family jewels."
Mina sucked in a breath. "Future Midoriyas just went extinct."
Tsuyu blinked. "Ribbit. That looked painful."
Izuku nodded weakly, his eyes teary, his future children fading into the abyss. "I-it's fine!"
Bakugo scoffed. "Serves you right, nerd. Acting all friendly with some shitty kid."
The brat huffed, looking way too satisfied. "I hate heroes."
"Yeah, no shit," I said. "We got that when you tried to end Izuku's bloodline."
He turned his glare on me. "You're all just fakes. None of you care about real people!"
"Wow," I said. "That's original. Tell me more, oh wise child."
Mandalay walked over, sighing. "Kouta, that's enough."
Izuku, still struggling to stand, tried again. "L-listen, I don't know what you've been through, but—"
"Don't talk to me," Kouta snapped before stomping off toward a cliffside like he was in a music video.
Aoyama tilted his head. "Ooh, dramatic."
Sero shook his head. "Dude really just hit a prologue monologue and walked off."
Mandalay sighed. "Sorry about that. He's... complicated."
"Yeah, well, Izuku's complicated now too," I said, watching him try to breathe again.
Yaoyorozu crossed her arms. "Midoriya, are you alright?"
"Y-yep!" Izuku forced a thumbs-up, still bent over.
Kirishima patted his back. "Man, that was a straight low blow. You're a trooper."
Mina smirked. "So, uh, how's it feel knowing one random kid almost erased your lineage?"
Izuku coughed. "N-no lineage to erase!"
I waved my arm. "He is going to die a virgin anyway."
Izuku groaned, still hunched over, clutching his stomach. "C-can we not talk about that right now?"
Mina smirked. "Rest in peace, future Midoriyas."
Iida sighed. "Can we not?"
Bakugo clicked his tongue. "Tch. That nerd wouldn't get laid even if he had a quirk that forced it."
I stretched, already walking toward the dorms. "At least I do not have to worry about nieces and nephews calling me Uncle Ryuu."
Izuku tried to straighten up. "Th-that is not even—ugh, never mind."
Todoroki blinked. "Is it really that important?"
Sero shrugged. "I mean, the dude got decked in the nuts by a child. If that is not a bad omen, I do not know what is."
Izuku sighed. "Can we move on?"
"Yeah, sure," I said. "Before someone suggests an intervention for Izuku's nonexistent love life."
Mineta made a noise. "What about my love life?"
Bakugo turned on him. "What fucking love life, you damn perv?"
Shoji didn't even bother responding. He just picked Mineta up and tossed him into the hallway like garbage.
Mineta tried to protest but was already airborne.
Kirishima grinned. "Man, this trip's already off to a great start."
"Not really," Tsuyu said. "Ribbit. We have to wake up early."
"Why would you remind me?" Kaminari groaned.
I walked into the dorm, kicking off my shoes at the door, and turned back to class. "Because suffering loves company."
Yaoyorozu clapped her hands. "Alright, everyone, let us get some rest. Training starts first thing in the morning."
Mina grinned, pointing at me. "You gonna survive tomorrow?"
"I will manage."
She grinned. "I bet you break first."
I yawned. "I bet you cry before lunch."
"You are on."
Walking into the room I shared with Izuku, Shoji, and Todoroki, I took the top bunk and shed my clothes. No hesitation. If they had a problem with it, they could take it up with Aizawa. I already told him I needed a private room. Not my fault he didn't arrange it. I slept naked. That was their problem now.
Izuku groaned. "Ryuu, at least use a towel or something—"
"Then close your eyes," I said, tossing my clothes onto the chair.
Shoji glanced over and immediately looked away. Todoroki didn't even acknowledge it.
Izuku sighed, rubbing his temples. "This is why I wanted to room with Iida."
"Then go," I said, climbing into bed.
He muttered something under his breath, but I was already getting comfortable. Shoji turned off the lights, and for a few seconds, it was peaceful. Then Izuku spoke up again.
"You think that kid is gonna be a problem?"
"Yeah," I said. "But not my problem."
Izuku sighed. "You could at least try to—"
"Go to sleep, nerd."
Silence.
For about a minute.
Then Todoroki said, "Are we sure Mineta isn't trying to sneak into the girls' side?"
Shoji sighed. "If he does, I'll throw him off a cliff."
"Good," I muttered. "Wake me up if you need help."
Todoroki hummed. "I think we can handle it."
Izuku yawned. "Let's just hope he isn't that stupid."
Shoji didn't bother responding.
A few minutes passed. Someone shifted in bed. A faint rustling sound.
"Ryuu," Izuku said.
I groaned. "What?"
"At least put on underwear."
"Go fuck yourself."
He sighed again, but didn't push it.
Sleep took over.
--
You were once like me.
A reader of great passion.
A binger of grand epics.
But then you took
a Power Stone to the knee.
And didn't vote.
Now the Jarl's revoked your plot privileges.
The Greybeards scream at you every morning.
And Lydia?
She won't carry your emotional baggage anymore.
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