Daily Meme
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At 4 PM, Pixie Boobs dropped a pile of raw ingredients in front of us and reminded everyone that food duty was on us.
I turned to Iida. "Alright, Mr. Schedule, what's the plan?"
Iida straightened. "As per my assignments, I have categorized duties based on efficiency and competency—"
"Yeah, no." I rubbed my temples after checking his worksheet. "You made this vague as hell." I snatched the paper from him. "Peeling duty is 'basic work?' Chopping is 'general assistance?' What does that even mean?"
Iida adjusted his glasses. "I merely structured tasks so they could be distributed evenly."
"You structured it so no one knows what the hell they're supposed to do." I flipped the page. "Yeah, this is garbage."
He gasped. "Midoriya! I spent considerable effort ensuring this would function smoothly—"
"Then you wasted time. We're fixing it." I turned to the group. "Everyone, listen up! Iida tried, but we're doing this properly."
Kirishima grinned. "Man's just hijacking the whole thing."
"Iida made a mess. I'm cleaning it up." I pointed at Kaminari and Sero. "You two, peeling duty."
Kaminari blinked. "What? Why us?"
"Because it's idiot-proof."
Sero shrugged. "Fair."
I looked at Ojiro and Shoji. "Chopping. You two got the best control, so no one loses fingers."
Ojiro nodded. "Got it."
Shoji just grabbed a knife.
I pointed at Bakugo. "You—"
"No."
I doubled down. "Did I stutter, motherfucker?"
Bakugo tensed, his hands sparking. "You wanna fucking die?"
"Not before you cook, bitch," I shot back. "You're on grinding the seasonings duty."
Kirishima snorted. Kaminari whispered, "Oh shit."
Bakugo looked ready to explode, but before he could start throwing hands, I pointed at Todoroki. "You're handling the fire. Keep the heat steady."
Todoroki nodded. "Got it."
I turned to Mineta. "You—"
"Garbage duty, got it!" He scrambled toward the big bags to prepare for his duty.
Yaoyorozu crossed her arms. "What about the rest of us?"
"You, Sato, and Ponytail 2.0 over there—" I pointed at Kendo from Class 1-B. "Prep the main ingredients. Meat, vegetables, whatever."
Kendo raised a brow. "Ponytail 2.0?"
Yaoyorozu sighed. "Ignore him."
Monoma scoffed. "And what, you expect me to follow your lead? How typical of Class 1-A to—"
I cut him off. "Cool. You're on dishwashing duty."
His eye twitched. "You can't be serious!"
"Dead serious. Hope you like scrubbing."
Kendo sighed and dragged him away before he could argue. "Just do it, Monoma."
I turned back to the others. "Tetsutetsu, Kirishima—you two handle the heavy lifting. Moving supplies, bringing in water, whatever."
"Manly!" they both shouted at the same time.
"Yeah, yeah, congrats." I pointed at Jiro and Tokoyami. "You two watch the timing. We're not serving raw food."
Jiro nodded. Tokoyami gave a simple, "Understood."
Mina grinned. "Alright, Ryuu, what about me?"
"You're on—" I paused, then smirked. "Supervising."
She blinked. "Wait, what?"
"Yeah, keep Kaminari from electrocuting himself. Maybe make sure Sero doesn't get his dumbass peeled along with the potatoes."
Kaminari groaned. "Dude."
Sero looked genuinely worried. "Wait, is that a real risk?"
Everyone moved like they actually wanted to eat, which was a miracle. No wasted time, no one standing around looking confused. Even Kaminari peeled like he had a brain cell left.
"Move, bitches. Daddy needs to eat," I said, grabbing a knife.
Bakugo glared. "Say that again, and you're eating through a straw."
"Try me, Boom Boom Boy."
He clicked his tongue and focused on the spices. If he tried to kill me, at least the food would be seasoned right.
Mina leaned on the counter, watching Kaminari struggle with a potato. "You've peeled, like, half of one. We're gonna starve."
Kaminari squinted at the peeler like it had personally insulted him. "It's slippery, okay?"
Mina snatched it from him, peeled the rest in two seconds, and tossed it back. "That's how you do it, dumbass."
He muttered something under his breath and grabbed another.
Ojiro chopped like a pro. Shoji handled multiple cutting boards at once, making everyone else look useless.
"Dude, do you just have built-in knife skills?" Sero asked.
Shoji shrugged. "Practice."
Mineta was trying to look busy. Kendo noticed and threw a bag of scraps at him. "Less slacking, more throwing away."
Monoma, still pissed about dish duty, muttered, "How typical of 1-A to throw work at others—"
"Shut up and scrub," I said.
He scowled but kept washing.
Yaoyorozu and Sato prepped the main ingredients. Kendo worked next to them, handing off supplies when needed.
When the food was just about finished, I stepped in and added the final touches.
"What was that?" Hagakure asked.
She hadn't been assigned any kitchen duties since no one wanted to risk throwing hot oil on an invisible person or accidentally stabbing her in the chaos.
Izuku glanced up from the paprika he was slicing. "Ryuu's actually a pretty decent cook. He calls this 'the final touch.' It drives Mom crazy that he can actually make food taste better just by tweaking it at the end."
Jiro raised a brow. "So, what, you got a chef's Quirk now too?"
I flicked some salt into the pot. "Just better instincts than you."
Kaminari peered over my shoulder. "You didn't even taste it. How do you know it needs more salt?"
I tapped the spoon against the edge of the pot. "Because I actually know what I'm doing."
Mina elbowed him. "What, you doubting 'the final touch' now? You wanna risk your food being mid?"
Kaminari backed off. "Okay, okay, let the man cook."
Sero nodded toward me. "Yeah, but how did you even figure this out?"
I shrugged. "Trial and error."
Yaoyorozu added some last-minute garnish, smelling the pot. "It is surprisingly effective."
Bakugo scoffed. "Tch. It's just seasoning. Not a damn miracle."
Mina smirked. "Jealous?"
Bakugo clicked his tongue but didn't argue. He knew better than to get dragged into that fight.
When we sat down to eat, the food was sparkling. Not in a metaphorical, "oh, it looks amazing" way—actual light reflections bounced off the damn surface like it was coated in something unnatural.
Aizawa squinted at his bowl. "The hell am I looking at?"
Vlad King turned the dish slightly, frowning. "Did you put glitter in this?"
Pixie-Bob leaned closer, eyes wide. "Oooh, is this a secret ingredient thing?"
Mandalay looked at me. "Midoriya, explain."
I grumbled. "Just eat your damn meal."
They did. And then they all shut up.
For a solid ten seconds, not a word. The only sound was the occasional clink of chopsticks against bowls. Then, the reactions started. Not dramatic, not over-the-top. Just small, uncontrollable noises.
Tiger grunted, barely audible. "Hmph."
Ragdoll muttered, "Holy crap."
Vlad exhaled through his nose like he was suppressing something deep in his soul.
Pixie-Bob made a noise that would have gotten her weird looks in public.
Aizawa? No expression change. No reaction. But his chopsticks moved faster.
I leaned back, watching them. "Yeah. Thought so."
Kirishima wiped his mouth, grinning. "Bro, I think you just broke them."
Mina threw a thumbs-up. "Hell yeah, Chef Ryuu!"
Kaminari, still chewing, just nodded.
Yaoyorozu glanced at her bowl, then at me. "I refuse to believe you do not use a secret ingredient."
"I don't," I said. "It's just common sense. You taste, you adjust, you fix what needs fixing."
Todoroki took another bite. "It's better than most restaurants."
Bakugo scowled at his bowl. "Tch. Ain't bad."
Took another bite, scowled harder.
"Still doesn't mean you're not a dumbass."
"High praise," Izuku muttered.
Mineta, already licking his plate, groaned. "Why is this so good? It's not fair."
Shoji handed him another serving just to shut him up.
Mandalay cleared her throat, regaining some composure. "Alright. Fine. That was unexpected."
Vlad King leaned back. "I hate that I have to admit this, but this is better than anything I've had in a long time."
Pixie-Bob sighed dramatically. "Midoriya, if hero work doesn't pan out, open a restaurant."
Ragdoll nodded. "Seriously. You would be rich."
I waved them off. "Not happening."
Aizawa finally spoke. "We're still training at dawn."
Groans spread across the room.
Mina sighed. "Couldn't let us enjoy the moment, huh?"
Aizawa took another bite. "No."
Tetsutetsu grabbed a bowl, took a bite, and immediately went wide-eyed.
Manga Fukidashi's speech bubble popped up. "WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?!"
Kendo stole a bite from his bowl. She stared at it for a second, then looked at me. "This is stupidly good."
Monoma huffed. "Hmph. As expected from Class 1-A. Always showing off."
I grabbed a dish towel and tossed it at his face. "Shut up and eat."
He did. And then he shut up.
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"This tree… this happy little trauma here.
And let's add a little reader. Right here."
He paints you.
But you're faceless.
Why?
Because you didn't vote.
Bob sighs.
"Sometimes we make mistakes.
Sometimes we make villains."
He draws 17 more Ryuu clones and they all judge you.
RIP Bob Ross!
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As some of you might have noticed, I changed the novel cover. Open to feedback! (Check here)
Nothing in the image represents future plot developments. It is purely cosmetic. A bunch of pieces I gathered from here and there and mashed together. The whole thing has around 80 layers, from clothes to characters, weapons to effects. Some elements are fully drawn by AI because I can't draw for shit. I can only photo manipulate. Thanks.
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