The café was silent, except for the occasional spoons clinking on ceramic mugs. The faint yellow lights overhead cast a comforting glow, yet to Nick, everything felt frigid. The coffee in front of him had long gone lukewarm, untouched. His fingers trembled slightly as he scanned through his phone, his heart falling lower with every picture.
Arthur's smile, how he was leaning toward him on the rooftop of their old apartment. Arthur fell asleep on his shoulder after a late-night study session. Each snapshot reminded them of what they used to be, of the love that had once felt so impenetrable. And now, all of it is gone.
His grasp on the phone tightened as his thoughts spiraled. He had tried—tried so damn hard—to let go. He had poured himself into distractions, avoided areas that reminded him of Arthur, and even pondered leaving Bangkok completely. But nothing worked. Arthur was everywhere in his recollections, nightmares, and agony that never left his chest.
And worst of all, Arthur didn't seem to be suffering the way he was. That's what Nick felt.
Nick had heard from common acquaintances that Arthur was still attending university like nothing had occurred. He was still smiling, still surrounded by people. Did he not care? Did he not feel the same emptiness that was eating Nick?
It wasn't fair.
Nick gazed at his reflection in the café window, his expression frigid and foreign. He hated feeling this weak. He hated knowing that Arthur still had this much control over him.
That's when the idea struck him.
If Arthur wasn't hurting, then Nick would make him suffer.
He unlocked his phone and browsed to a familiar contact. Mia. Mia is a close friend of Nick; she is in the same department as Nick, and she is ultimately Nick's best friend.
She answered on the second ring. "Nick? Are you okay?"
Her voice was loaded with concern, but Nick didn't let it affect him. "I need a favor."
There was a pause. "What kind of favor?"
"Meet me at our usual spot," he replied, his voice calmer than he expected. "It's important."
Mia arrived at the café fifteen minutes later, her sharp eyes searching Nick's face the instant she sat down. "You look like shit."
"Thanks," he mumbled, scratching his head.
Mia sighed, crossing her arms. "Talk to me. What's going on?"
Nick hesitated. He knew Mia wouldn't approve, but she was his best friend. She had always been there for him, even when he didn't deserve it. If anyone could help him pull this off, it was her.
"I need you to pretend to be my fiancée," he added bluntly.
Mia blinked. "I'm sorry, what?"
Nick leaned forward, dropping his voice. "Arthur thinks he can just move on like nothing happened. I can't stand it. I want him to feel what I'm feeling. If he thinks I'm engaged, if he thinks I've moved on, maybe—maybe he'll understand how much he's hurt me."
Mia stared at him like he'd lost his wits. "Nick, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."
Nick clenched his jaw. "I'm serious, Mia."
"Yeah, I can see that. That's what makes this worse," she added, exhaling hard. "You want to lie to Arthur, manipulate him into feeling jealous? That's not you."
Nick looked aside. "Maybe it is now."
Mia softened. "Nick… I know you're hurting, but this isn't the way."
"You don't get it," he snapped. "I've tried everything. I tried staying away. I tried forgetting him. Nothing works. He doesn't care, Mia. If he did, he wouldn't be acting like nothing happened."
Mia was quiet for a moment. Then she moaned, scratching her temples. And how do you know that he is not hurting? The guy has been looking everywhere for you; he has called everyone connected to both of you to help find you, and here you are trying to make him jealous. You think he is going to believe this little lie of yours?
"God, you're impossible."
Nick held his breath as she sat there, visibly torn. He realized he was asking too much. Mia had her own life, her secrets—like the fact that she was secretly crushing on Pim, Arthur's best friend. If she did this for him, it would put her in an impossible situation.
"I wouldn't ask if I didn't need this," Nick stated quietly. It's just for a short while; all I need is to buy you a ring, and you snap and post on IG in three months—that's all.
Mia gazed at him, then let out a defeated groan. "Fine," but promise me you'll clear everything up with Arthur, and remember I am only doing this for you because of the favor I owe you.
Nick's gaze snapped to hers. "Really?
"Don't make me regret this," she whispered. "I'll play along for now. But if this blows up in your face, don't say I didn't warn you."
They went to a jewelry store the next day.
Nick scarcely registered the rows of gleaming rings in the display cases. His head was elsewhere, confused by the remembrance of the promise rings he and Arthur had once exchanged. They had been youngsters, impulsive and in love, believing they had forever. Now, he was here, buying a ring for a lie.
"Pick one," he mumbled.
Mia rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks for the romance."
Nick shot her a look, and she sighed, selecting a simple silver band.
"This one is believable but not too flashy."
He paid without hesitation, without even worrying about the price. When they went out of the store, he handed it to her.
"Put it on."
Mia hesitated before placing the diamond onto her finger. She stared at it for a bit and then looked at Nick.
"This feels wrong," she said.
Nick forced a smile. "That's because it is."
She sighed. "Then why are we doing it?"
"Because I don't know how else to make him see me," Nick said.
Mia frowned but didn't protest. Instead, she pulled out her phone.
"If we're going to do this, we might as well make it convincing." She grasped Nick's hand, interlocking their fingers. "Smile."
Nick didn't smile. But he let her take the picture.
Mia sighed, shaking her head. "You're going through with this, huh?"
Nick gazed at the picture on her screen, their hands together, the ring shining, a wonderful illusion.
"Yeah," he responded quietly. "I am."
And for the first time since losing Arthur, he felt like he had control again, even if it was simply a falsehood.