As he stepped off the basement stairs, his ears caught a humming voice.
Tobey's foot hovered mid-step.
The moment the sound reached him, his body locked up.
A voice. A melody. Smooth. Gentle. Unnatural. Yet… familiar.
It was so hypnotic, his legs moved on their own—drawn toward it.
His thoughts blurred.
His heartbeat slowed.
His eyes—wet.
Something about the sound felt wrong—but at the same time…
He wanted to step forward.
"What is that? A siren? A nymph? A harpy? A banshee? Melusine? Lorelei?" he whispered.
He gulped.
"It's dangerous to go out there… I'll just listen from here."
A pause.
"…Getting a little closer wouldn't hurt… would it?"
The humming grew sweeter and sweeter.
And Tobey crept closer and closer.
Step by step.
Heartbeat steady.
Breath shallow.
Then—he peeked into the kitchen.
And what he saw…
You wouldn't believe it.
A siren?
No.
A nymph?
No.
A harpy?
No.
A banshee?
No.
Melusine?
No.
Lorelei?
No.
But a completely normal wife, devoted to her husband, humming while making breakfast.
Soft, warm, and effortless—the melody floated through the air like sunlight through morning mist.
"Through storm or shine, I see you still,
With weary hands, yet heart fulfilled.
A world may turn, the time may fade,
But here we stand, the vows we made."
"The fire burns, the embers glow,
Through every high, through every low.
No riches sought, no gold I plead,
Your smile alone is all I need."
But Tobey saw otherwise.
"My mother is a siren in human form… That explains everything," he whispered, eyes wide.
A slow, tragic shake of the head.
"…Poor Dad."
Narrator, after a long pause:
"…Actually… Lucky Dad."
A sigh.
"I'd like to have a wife like her…"
He stared dreamily, then snapped back.
"She seems like a goddess… Anyway—how am I gonna get my frog?"
Kitchen? No go.
Living room? Also no go.
That stupid glass door connecting both was wide open.
Tobey sighed.
"Guess that leaves… the front door."
Operation Ninja Run: Commenced.
Hallway—clear.
Front door—clear.
Pathway to backyard—clear.
Then—
"Who's there?"
Mother's voice rang out.
Tobey froze.
His eyes darted to the backyard.
There—under the shed, hiding from the rain—was a cat.
A poor, innocent cat.
A cat… toying with his frog.
We saw a helpless animal.
Tobey saw an opportunity.
As Mother stepped out of the kitchen, Tobey lunged.
In one swift motion—he grabbed the poor thing by the neck.
A pause.
Then—YEET.
The cat soared straight toward [Mother].
She knelt down, voice soft:
"So it was you causing all that ruckus, Miss Kitty?"
The cat shivered, ears flicking.
"Mew…"
"Aww, you poor thing. You're soaking wet."
She smiled gently.
"Mrrrrow?" The cat blinked, shaking off droplets.
Her expression softened.
"Wait here—I'll get you some warm milk and something to dry you off."
The cat stretched, tail flicking.
"Mrrrrp."
"It's bad for your health, you know? You must've been looking for food… poor thing."
She chuckled as the cat purred—
"Prrrrrrr…"
Man, she is something else.
Tobey whispered, "I saved myself from blowing my cover. Now I just have to wait till she's done treating the cat."
He crossed his arms, deep in thought.
"Can't go back to the base of operations… Not yet."
Tobey was busy plotting his next move.
But the one thing he wasn't thinking about?
The innocent creature he'd just grabbed and launched like a dodgeball…
was now living its best life.
But Tobey? He had other priorities.
"Mr. Frog, I think you're going to my room first. You need to sleep."
He whispered to the container, then sprayed the potion on the frog.
A second passed—
Then another—
Then—plop.
The frog went limp.
"Yay, success! Now… I should probably check if he's still alive."
He grinned.
Truly a menace.
A quick inspection—yup, still breathing.
"Good. Now—to my room!"
With victory in his heart, Tobey took off running.
He was almost there—
Then—he saw it.
The same rock.
The same rock he'd tripped over not once.
But twice.
He jumped.
Cleared it.
Grand, triumphant leap.
He was free.
He was flying.
And then—
Fate had other plans.
His feet touched the ground—
SLIP.
Tobey went down.
For the third time.
Same spot.
Somewhere in the heavens, karma was laughing its ass off.
Tobey didn't speak.
Didn't groan.
Didn't resist.
Without a word, he pushed himself up.
Without resistance, he walked to the drainpipe.
He stood beneath it.
Water poured down, soaking him.
Washing off the dirt.
And the shame.
He closed his eyes.
And in that moment—
He understood.
Fade to black.
—
Now—he was back in his room.
Cold. Wet. In his underwear.
Still holding a container of frog.
He exhaled, finally at peace.
Then—
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
Tobey jumped so hard he nearly yeeted the container.
Panic.
Pure. Unfiltered. Panic.
Who was at the door?!
And more importantly—
What the hell was he supposed to do now?!