34 Hikigaya and Jabami Exchange Their Pasts
"Hikigaya-kun, are you in a bad mood?"
The two of them sat face-to-face at the convenience store's dining area. Jabami Yumeko held up her rice ball, maintaining a ladylike demeanor, and took a large, satisfied bite—but didn't notice the grains of rice sticking to the corner of her mouth.
"Yeah. To be honest, I still lost to Momobami Kirari today—both in gambling skills and in matters of the heart."
Hikigaya Hachiman lifted his bowl and gulped down the exquisite broth in large swallows.
When it rains, it pours—on top of feeling defeated, Hikigaya Hachiman was now caught in a downpour.
Rain fell in sheets, but only Hikigaya had brought an umbrella.
Their eyes instinctively met. Hikigaya stood up with a resigned expression.
"I'll go buy another umbrella and lend it to you. Just return it to me tomorrow."
Just as he was about to move, Jabami Yumeko grabbed his hand.
The soft touch of her palm caused Hikigaya's breath to catch for a moment.
"Forget it, Hikigaya-kun," Yumeko said, shaking her head. Amid the gloomy weather, she smiled as brightly as a sunflower facing the sun. "The station's not far—we can just share and squeeze in together."
"I already feel bad enough that you had to buy me dinner because I lost all my money today. If I made you spend even more on an umbrella, it'd really be too much."
"Please~ pretty please!"
Jabami Yumeko clutched his hand tightly and shook it with all her might.
"Ugh… F-Fine, okay."
Hikigaya gave up on thinking and followed Jabami's lead, mechanically opening his umbrella.
But his umbrella was a cheap five-fold umbrella made in China. Its advantage was being small and portable—its disadvantage, well…
Was exactly the situation Hikigaya now found himself in.
The umbrella was too small.
Under the pouring rain, they were forced to huddle close together under its meager shelter. Yet even then, more than half their bodies remained exposed to the deluge, enduring the downpour.
They finally made it to the station.
As luck would have it, Bus No. 101—the one Jabami Yumeko took—was slowly approaching from the distance.
"Hikigaya-kun, it's fine to leave me here," Jabami said, her school uniform soaked halfway through from the rain. She lightly patted the water off her clothes and showed a calm, gentle smile.
'Something seems off with Jabami Yumeko's demeanor.'
Hikigaya Hachiman keenly sensed that something was off. But what exactly was wrong? He couldn't quite say. He just felt that the Jabami Yumeko after her gambling loss had become somewhat... gloomy? Or maybe disheartened?
In any case, she didn't show the same kind of heartfelt cheerfulness she usually directed at him.
It was as if she were deliberately putting on an overly bright act, just to prevent him from noticing her inner turmoil.
'She's not thinking of killing herself, is she...' Hikigaya was startled by his own thought and quickly denied it.
Someone like Jabami Yumeko would never commit suicide just because she lost.
At most, she was probably just emotionally low from being hit where she was strongest.
Hikigaya hesitated, then made a decision that even surprised himself:
"The stop near Hospital is still a bit of a walk from the hospital itself, right..." he said, pretending to be calm as he scratched his face and looked away. "In this kind of heavy rain, if you just walk there, you'll probably catch a cold."
"Don't overthink it. I'm just saying, if you catch a cold, you won't be able to repay your debt through gambling."
"To prevent that possibility, I guess I'll go with you."
'What the hell am I even saying...'
'If I used the time it'll take to walk her to the hospital to do my writing instead, I could be making more money...'
'Hikigaya Hachiman, when did you become this stupid? Have you lost even your most basic ability to calculate time and money?'
"Eh? Really? But Hikigaya-kun, don't you have things to do?"
"Y-Yeah... I can."
.
.
.
The heavens were kind.
Perhaps because of the rain, the number of passengers on this bus line had dropped significantly.
The bus was nearly empty, with only a few scattered passengers.
Hikigaya Hachiman and Jabami Yumeko sat in the back corner, side by side, their arms pressed together.
For some reason, Hikigaya suddenly remembered why he used to always sit near the front of the bus.
'Because people who sit in the back are always overflowing with unchecked youthful hormones! Damn you, Hikigaya!'
Hikigaya harshly scolded himself and resolved to return to his usual routine tomorrow.
His life of home-to-school and school-to-home couldn't be disrupted by Jabami Yumeko.
"Hey, Hikigaya-kun, did you know..."
Yumeko looked out the window and wiped at the foggy glass with her hand.
"Today was my first time losing~"
"Is that so..."
"Me too."
'This was the first time I lost since deciding I wanted to win,' Hikigaya silently added in his heart.
"My older sister, back when I was in middle school, went mad after being betrayed by relatives during a gamble," Yumeko said, placing her hands neatly on her lap, her expression completely calm, like she was telling a story that had nothing to do with her.
"That was her first loss—and it was my first time participating in a gamble."
Hikigaya went silent and quietly listened as Yumeko told her story.
When someone is distressed, they'll always seek a suitable person to confide in. Some will talk to themselves, while others choose someone they trust.
And now, Yumeko was confiding in him. That sudden, heavy trust left Hikigaya Hachiman feeling overwhelmed. All he could do was quietly be a listener, and later, when her emotions had stabilized, help seal away these dark feelings.
"From that moment, I realized how wonderful gambling really is. Struggling between heaven and hell, floating between life and death..."
"So this is what losing feels like... Hikigaya-kun, would you like to experience it for yourself?"
The more Yumeko spoke, the more excited her tone became. Saliva sprayed from her mouth, landing on her stockings, but she didn't even notice. She suddenly turned toward him, puffed out her chest, grabbed his hand, and tried to press it against her body.
Thankfully, Hikigaya had been silently reciting prime numbers to keep himself composed. Just before he touched that softness, he broke free from Yumeko's grip.
And at that moment, Hikigaya realized he didn't need to recite prime numbers anymore.
'The young must guard against lust; the old must guard against desire.' Hikigaya Hachiman silently warned himself.
"Hikigaya-kun, you don't want to?" Yumeko asked when Hikigaya rejected her advances. She could only place her own hand on her left breast and knead it firmly, trying to suppress the madness bubbling up inside her.
Seeing her like this—so manic—Hikigaya began to understand. Yumeko wasn't off because she was sad.
She was on the verge of completely losing control.
That wild impulse to throw everything away and stake it all.
The desire to gamble was consuming her.
In this state, Hikigaya realized, even if he dragged her to a love hotel for some post-rain "fun," Yumeko would happily go along with it. But doing so would only push her further toward ruin.
If he didn't do something now, tomorrow Jabami Yumeko might go to Momobami Kirari and issue the highest level gambling challenge.
Hikigaya Hachiman couldn't predict what would happen then. Nor did he want to. That kind of future lay completely beyond his calculations and control.
So he reached out, grabbed Yumeko's restless hand, and looked seriously—solemnly—at the woman now like a lustful beast.
"Then let me tell you a story, Yumeko."
"There once was a boy—he was very weak..."
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