Zariah used to feel everything too much.
Now? She barely felt anything at all.
It started slow. Her mom had been pacing more at night again, snapping over little things, crying behind closed doors. Zariah could hear it. The whispers. The breaking. And it reminded her too much of herself—of the nights she thought silence meant safety.
Ms. Reyes noticed the shift. Zariah had gone from speaking in sentences to short nods. The therapy that once gave her air now felt suffocating, like she was performing healing instead of actually living it.
School didn't stop for any of it. Tests kept coming. Deadlines kept piling up. And even though her grades stayed steady, the pressure weighed heavier than ever. She'd open her notebook and stare at the pages for hours, zoning out into that blank space in her head.
Then came the night.
Her mom had been yelling into the phone, then crying again. Zariah sat in her room, the walls feeling tighter, her skin buzzing, but not in the way it used to. There was no panic. No sobbing. Just stillness.
So when she opened the drawer…
When she picked up the blade…
When she pressed it deeper than ever before...
She didn't flinch.
She didn't cry.
She didn't feel it.
The blood was there. A lot. More than usual. But her brain barely registered it. She sat there on the bathroom floor, legs pulled to her chest, staring at the wall like it could save her. The pain didn't come. Not the physical kind.
Only a ringing. Distant. Cold. Empty.
Then a knock.
Soft. Careful.
"Zariah?" Jasmine's voice.
She didn't answer. Couldn't.
The door creaked open slowly. Jasmine gasped.
"Oh my god—Zariah—"
She dropped to her knees beside her, her hands trembling. "Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you—" She cut herself off, pulling Zariah into her arms even as her hoodie sleeves stained red.
Zariah didn't move.
Jasmine's voice broke. "This isn't like before…"
It wasn't.
Zariah wasn't crying.
She wasn't panicking.
She was just… gone. Somewhere deep inside herself.
Jasmine held her tighter, whispering over and over, "You're okay. You're okay. Please be okay."
But Zariah didn't respond.
She was still breathing. Still conscious.
But for the first time, even Jasmine was scared she wouldn't come back from this one.
And still…
Her mom didn't know.