[many constellations are invested in the current events.]
Kim Dokja was both invested and not, caught between being present and floating away completely. It wasn't anywhere near as bad as it had been earlier, but he was still distinctly uncomfortable. At least he had some things to hold onto, but he couldn't help but feel grateful that he wasn't alone for this, even if that wasn't something he was accustomed to.
Yoo Sangah let out a breath of relief as the screen began to light up again. "I hope that Dokja-ssi will be able to turn the tide now."
He hoped so too, because they probably wouldn't survive otherwise.
Minwoo screeches as blood flows freely from the stump on his arm. Dokja lands in the classic superhero pose, using his hand and knee to stop his momentum before looking back at Minwoo. Shockingly, a mix of blood, muscle and tissue wriggles from the fleshy stump before forming the shape of a new arm, complete with squelching noises.
Dokja watches in horror as he identifies this as the regenerative properties of a werewolf, but he realizes that the regeneration is too fast and guesses that Minwoo must be under someone's protection. Dokja dashes around Minwoo as the muscle layer comes to settle in place, glad that his bounty scenario doesn't require him to kill the werewolf.
Dokja stops and invests more coins into his Strength as he mentally states that the constellations won't be pleased if he completes it too easily. Dokja gathers power into his fist before he looks at a startled Minwoo and speaks. "Minwoo, I never greeted you properly, did I?"
Dokja leaps forward, not giving Minwoo a chance to reply or react. His fist makes contact with the werewolf's muzzle, sending him flying and crashing into the ground, which leaves the concrete beneath him cracked.
"Oh that's disgusting," Jung Heewon muttered with a slight gag, and Kim Dokja had to agree. The regeneration was way too fast as well, and it wasn't good that he was likely under the protection of a constellation or a demon king.
Lee Seolhwa's eyes narrowed. "Being able to regenerate like that seems very convenient, even if it doesn't look the most… appealing."
That was one way to put it, Kim Dokja supposed. He'd personally describe it as unsettling and absolutely disgusting, but Lee Seolhwa was also a better person than he was.
[many constellations are cheering for the incarnation 'kim dokja'.]
[the constellation 'abyssal black flame dragon' is hoping to see a bloody fight.]
"Yeah! Punch him harder!" Lee Jihye cheered, excitedly throwing punches at the air as she did so. Seriously, how was she having fun in this situation? Kim Dokja definitely wasn't, but at the same time, he couldn't fault her for it.
At least the other kids seemed to find it entertaining, so it wasn't all bad. They deserved to find and grab hold of whatever small bits of joy that they could in this kind of world, even if it was at the expense of his own mental health or sanity.
As Minwoo spits up blood and his tongue lolls out of his mouth in an almost comedic fashion, Dokja states that Minwoo should have apologized before talking about being classmates, if he had any conscience. Dokja grabs the werewolf by his mane and pulls his fist back, his expression one of calm anger. "It's good to see you."
Suddenly an image of the human Minwoo glares at Dokja, his face battered, and this is enough to affect him. Dokja flinches, staring with wide eyes as Minwoo swears at him. Suddenly, it's like they're back in high school again, wearing their uniforms as [The Fourth Wall] shakes. Dokja grits his teeth, trying to smile as he shakes in fear.
Damn it, Han Sooyoung was right. There's no such thing as normal trauma in this world. I've grown stronger than him now, but my fists are shaking.
'Damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!' Dokja begins repeatedly punching Minwoo until his glove is covered in the werewolf's blood. Minwoo tries to insult Dokja as a lame fucker who always read fantasy novels, attempting to understand how he got so strong despite his pitiful past. Dokja replies that he's now an adult while Minwoo is the same immature bully from back then.
"Punch him harder, damn it," Han Sooyoung muttered under her breath, and Kim Dokja wasn't sure if that was supposed to be encouraging or insulting him. Knowing her, it could very possibly be both at once.
Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes narrowed. "Kim Dokja."
"Yes?" What did the protagonist want now?
He stared for a moment, making Kim Dokja slightly nervous, before finally speaking again. "You will not be facing this alone. Stop pretending you're unaffected."
Kim Dokja laughed awkwardly. "It's okay, really. I'm used to it."
"You should not be," Yoo Joonghyuk declared, and somehow that alone was enough to render Kim Dokja speechless. He wasn't wrong—no one should be used to that. Kim Dokja just wished that he had been that lucky.
[The constellation 'demon-like judge of fire' wishes to remind the incarnation 'kim dokja' that there is no shame in weakness.]
[the constellation 'demon-like judge of fire' does not wish for the incarnation 'kim dokja' to lose himself to his anger.]
Kim Dokja stared at the screen, an uncomfortable feeling building in his gut. He had thought that getting to see himself beat up Song Minwoo would be cathartic, but he was wrong. Maybe it would be in that desperation-fuelled moment, but from this outsider point of view, Kim Dokja couldn't help but realize that he hated seeing himself in that position.
Kim Dokja knew that he shouldn't feel bad about it—Song Minwoo certainly hadn't back then or now, and they weren't in a situation where morals really mattered anymore. Still… it felt like he was proving those rumours right. Maybe he did finally snap exactly the way they all thought he would, and that wasn't a thought process that Kim Dokja really wanted to follow.
He wasn't a good person. He wasn't a good person, but he wasn't the monster they all wanted him to be, either. Still, Kim Dokja couldn't help but wonder if maybe by the end of this apocalypse, he would be.
As Dokja's one sided beating continues, some werewolves slowly edge away to the sounds of flesh beating on flesh and Minwoo's pained screams and pleas for Dokja to stop. Others are besieged by Sooyoung's avatars as she tries to chip away at them while they're distracted by the fight.
I was powerless, weak… All I did back then was read. I'll still have frequent nightmares in the future, and the disgrace of 17-year-old Kim Dokja will forever be stuck in that moment. My trauma will never be completely erased.
Minwoo stutters as he asks again for Dokja to stop while apologizing and claiming that he didn't know better. Dokja pauses for a moment before returning to punching Minwoo in the face. "I don't think you get it. I'm not beating you to get an apology out of you."
"They're running. Good," Yoo Mia huffed with a pleased expression as she watched the werewolves flee.
Shin Yoosung nodded. "And ahjumma is actually doing something too!"
"What did you think I was, chopped liver?" Han Sooyoung drawled in an unimpressed tone of voice.
Lee Gilyoung leveled her with an equally unimpressed stare. "Well you were doing about that much just now."
Han Sooyoung squawked in offense, and Kim Dokja did everything he could to avoid laughing. He probably looked pretty constipated as a result, but that was better than drawing her ire. Still, even if the kids never found out about it, he appreciated them for being able to release some of the tension through a few simple comments.
[a constellation who likes literature believes that reading can teach a unique strength.]
[the constellation 'queen of the darkest spring' is saddened by the words of the incarnation 'kim dokja'.]
He didn't want to be pitied. Yes, the bullying had been awful to endure throughout high school, but it wasn't anything new to him. Kim Dokja didn't want empty words from anyone that came far too late—least of all from Song Minwoo. He had learned to stop wanting apologies a long time ago.
An image of 17-year-old Dokja appears, standing behind him. He looks down upon this scene, covered in dirt and injuries as his uniform flows in a non-existent breeze. His eyes are dead and unseeing while his expression is just sad and pitiful, as if asking why he has to endure this kind of life. "The person who you should be apologizing to isn't me!"
Dokja tries to tell himself that this was all juvenile behaviour from the past, and that he should be the bigger person as an adult, but he's so furious that it shows on his face. He turns to look over his shoulder, as though staring back at the image of himself who continues to haunt him so many years later.
Yoo Joonghyuk…
A flashback of a beat-up teenage Dokja appears on the screen. He's sitting in front of a computer monitor—the only light in his otherwise darkened surroundings—and for once, his eyes are wide and bright as they're drawn to the words displayed upon it.
What would Yoo Joonghyuk do at a time like this?
"Dokja-ssi…" Lee Hyunsung said, his tone almost a whimper. Tears began to gather at the corner of his eyes, and Kim Dokja had to force himself to take a deep breath. All of that was in the past, and he had lived… So why was everyone so upset about it?
[the constellation 'prisoner of the golden headband' is tearing out his hair in shock.]
Yoo Sangah shot Kim Dokja a glance that said far too much. The look on the face of his 17-year-old self was probably enough to confirm all her suspicions, and that wasn't something he wanted to deal with right now. He hadn't been actively suicidal at that point in his life, and he still wasn't now, so it wasn't worth discussing.
"It'll get better, ahjussi," Lee Jihye muttered, as though talking to him through time and space. "Someday you'll have so many friends who care about you."
… he supposed she wasn't wrong, even if Kim Dokja thought they were all misguided. They'd eventually learn that he wasn't worth all that effort, even if they thought that he was for now.
[the constellation 'secretive plotter' is surprised to hear the name of the incarnation 'yoo joonghyuk'.]
The protagonist frowned in confusion, likely trying to figure out what he had to do with any of this. Kim Dokja knew that the answer was 'everything', but that wasn't something he would ever admit out loud if he could help it.
When the scene switched to show his younger self again, Han Sooyoung's jaw dropped. "No way…"
What was she talking about? Kim Dokja shot her a confused glance, but she just shook her head.
"What is up with the two of you and your fucking imagery, huh?" Han Sooyoung muttered. "You couldn't be any more obvious if you tried."
Kim Dokja genuinely had no idea what she meant by that.
All he saw was himself looking pathetic, desperately clinging to the idea of a man who didn't even exist to keep himself moving forward. All he saw was his younger self trying to escape his own horrible life by immersing himself in a world that was as broken and shattered as him. If Yoo Joonghyuk could endure pushing through those sharp and jagged edges of his world, no matter how they left him bleeding, then Kim Dokja could keep drifting through his reality like a ghost of a person.
But Han Sooyoung didn't know that. It was just a simple scene, a vignette into his life, so she couldn't have understood all the implications.
[the eyes of the constellation 'demon-like judge of fire' are widening in excitement.]
[the constellation 'secretive plotter' is speechless.]
"What would I do…?" Yoo Joonghyuk muttered inquisitively, his brows furrowing in his confusion.
That shouldn't have been attractive. It really shouldn't, but Yoo Joonghyuk always surpassed expectations. Though he wasn't looking at Kim Dokja, his profile was still far too handsome to be legal.
Multiple instances of Joonghyuk straight up murdering those who have slighted him in his current or past regressions are shown on the screen. It's incredibly obvious what he would have done in this situation.
Dokja pauses and looks almost amused while still holding Minwoo up by the fur on his chest. Suddenly, he bursts out laughing. His expression eases up and all his tension disappears as he fondly thinks that Joonghyuk's always been that kind of guy.
"... Actually, I don't think I've become an adult after all," Dokja says as he slowly stands up, getting a different angle on Minwoo as he readies his fist once more. [The Fourth Wall] is shaking less than before as Dokja smiles so cheerfully that the background turns bright and sparkly. "Even now… I'm still reading that fantasy novel."
This final punch sends Minwoo rocketing down the street, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. Dokja straightens up, panting slightly as he gets the scenario clear notification.
Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes widened, but Kim Dokja wasn't sure if it was because of shock or something else. Still, his eyes immediately found Kim Dokja and his gaze settled there for a moment.
… Was he dumbfounded that Kim Dokja instantly thought about him committing murder or something? If he didn't want people to assume he was a homicidal psychopath, then he should stop killing people just because they screwed him over in a past regression.
[the constellation 'demon-like judge of fire' is thrilled to hear the thoughts of the incarnation 'kim dokja'.]
"Wait, was that a genuine smile?" Jung Heewon murmured, elbowing Lee Hyunsung for confirmation. When he nodded speechlessly in return, Jung Heewon leaned forward to stare at Kim Dokja intently for a moment.
Han Sooyoung shook her head in disbelief. "You wouldn't fucking know subtlety if it slapped you in the face."
[many constellations are astounded.]
Was it really that serious?
[the constellation 'secretive plotter' says that the incarnation 'kim dokja' should laugh genuinely more often.]
Well, Kim Dokja was just going to pretend all of that didn't happen. Thankfully, the sight of the werewolf getting punched was enough to distract the kids as they erupted in cheers once again. At least they could be relied on to change the mood.
Looking down at the unconscious werewolf, Sooyoung calls Dokja scary for taking him down with his bare hands, remarking that it caused all the others to run away. Dokja states he's not dead before noting that [The Fourth Wall] no longer shakes when looking at him.
My trauma hasn't been dealt with, but I've surely become a little stronger while facing my past memories.
The image of the younger Dokja finally smiles in relief before disappearing into little balls of white light, as though he can finally rest, knowing that at least this one person no longer holds power over him.
Dokja then gets surprised when the constellation, 'Overcomer of Past Trials' gives Dokja their Stigma, [Self-Rationalization]. The reveal of the actual Stigma makes him less excited, wondering if it's any good and if this is a joke, before he's brought out of his thoughts by Sooyoung asking if he's going to kill Minwoo. Dokja looks down at him, weighing the pros and cons before deciding that they'll just leave instead.
[the constellation 'prisoner of the golden headband' is glad to see that the skill 'the fourth wall' is no longer shaking.]
[the constellation 'overcomer of past trials' is impressed by the incarnation 'kim dokja'.]
"I'm glad that you're doing better, Dokja-ssi," Yoo Sangah said, but he didn't have time to reply to her before he was practically mobbed by the two children who were attached to him.
"Ahjussi, your past self doesn't have to worry anymore, okay?" Shin Yoosung said eagerly, blinking up at him with pleading eyes.
Kim Dokja's expression softened. She really was too sweet.
Lee Gilyoung nodded as well. "Yeah! You should kill him."
He knew he shouldn't be surprised by that suggestion, but he really couldn't do that this time. "Gilyoung-ah, I can't."
"Why not?"
Kim Dokja shot an awkward glance over at Yoo Joonghyuk, remembering what had happened the last time they had dealt with a minion of a demon king. If Song Minwoo really was a subordinate of the person he thought… this probably wouldn't end well.
"I think this might be the same situation as in the Edge of Darkness with the Warden," Kim Dokja replied carefully, and the boy's eyes widened in realization before he shot a quick glance over at Han Sooyoung.
"Hyung, do you think ahjumma knows that?"
Shit.
Sooyoung is shocked by this, and asks once more if he's really sure they won't kill him—after all, he probably has a lot of coins. When Dokja confirms that he won't be killing Minwoo, Sooyoung casually holds her sword in her hand as she asks if she can do it. Dokja says that it's up to her, but she'll regret it. At Sooyoung's confused look, Dokja just shrugs with an indifferent expression.
"Well, you said I could, so…" Sooyoung says as she gleefully stabs Minwoo in the head as soon as Dokja turns away. Sooyoung then falls over in shock as multiple notifications pop up in front of her, informing her that the 'Architect of Discord' has placed a curse on her for being the one who dealt the final blow.
Dokja whirls around and smiles. "I told you that you would regret it."
Sooyoung shakes, her eyes widened in anger while simultaneously resembling those of a startled cat. "Oi, you twisted bastard!"
Han Sooyoung's jaw dropped. "What the actual fuck, you asshole!? Don't be vague about something that important!"
[the constellation 'demon-like judge of fire' is feeling conflicted.]
Kim Dokja winced. "I won't do that again."
"No shit," Han Sooyoung scoffed. "I know better now, too."
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't look entirely comfortable with the fact that Kim Dokja had, yet again, let someone get cursed by a demon king. Still, the 'Architect of Discord' was one of the weaker demon kings, and wasn't one that the protagonist had any personal history with. It seemed that his explosive reaction earlier was at least partly caused by the fact that it was specifically Asmodeus who was involved.
That didn't change the fact that the others didn't look much better, either. Jung Heewon looked conflicted, and Lee Hyunsung just looked pitifully anxious. Kim Dokja couldn't help but flinch again. He really couldn't help what this future version of himself did, but to be fair, he had assumed that she would have known about it from something similar enough in her own novel.
It couldn't be that the curse for killing a demon king's subordinate was the one thing that TWSA and her novel didn't have in common, right?
[the constellation 'abyssal black flame dragon' informs the incarnation 'han sooyoung' that he could eat the demon king for her next time.]
"I don't want there to be a next time, damn it!"