(1)For the first time in his life, Xiao Yang wished he were blind.
In front of him:Ye Qingxuan's poison needle was pressed against his throat.Yan Hongling's fiery whip coiled tightly around his waist.Lin Hanyi's sword tip rested right between his brows.Feng Ling'er's space blade hovered near his neck.And Jiang Chenyu's golden abacus was pointed straight at his most vulnerable area below the belt.
Meanwhile, Liuli—the damn system fairy and culprit behind all this—was casually sitting on his stomach, munching on melon seeds like it was a soap opera.
"Explain," Ye Qingxuan's violet eyes shimmered with killing intent. "Or the next needle will make your death legendary."
Xiao Yang gulped. "If I said... this was a misunderstanding..."
"Misunderstanding?" Yan Hongling's whip tightened. "Is that bite mark on your lips also a 'misunderstanding'?"
Lin Hanyi's sword advanced half an inch. "Sword cultivators don't lie."
Feng Ling'er tilted her head. "Soul-searching might help."
Jiang Chenyu smiled sweetly while flipping her abacus. "Bodily damage fee, mental distress compensation, plus my errand-running charge… Let's round it up to 10 million spirit stones, okay?"
Xiao Yang: "..."He was ready to die on the spot.
(2)[Ding! Ultimate Harem Showdown detected.][Calculating survival rate... 0.0001%][Recommendation: Activate Emotional Harmony Protocol]
Xiao Yang's eyes lit up. "Liuli! Use that new function!"
Liuli popped the last melon seed and lazily floated up. "Activating 'Emotional Harmony' consumes host's essence. Proceed?"
"Y-Yes! Definitely! Just do it—!"
With a snap of her fingers, five streams of light shot from Liuli's fingertip and hit each of the five girls right in the forehead.
For a moment, silence fell over the entire cave.
Ye Qingxuan's poison needle clattered to the ground.Yan Hongling's whip loosened.Lin Hanyi lowered her sword.Feng Ling'er and Jiang Chenyu suddenly looked dazed.
"Did it work?" Xiao Yang finally exhaled—Only to see their gazes shift. And something about those eyes… was off.
(3)Ye Qingxuan suddenly hugged his left arm. "Husband~ Time for your medicine~"
Yan Hongling snuggled up to his right. "Hubby~ I'm feeling hot~"
Lin Hanyi buried her face in his back. "Sword sheath… warm…"
Feng Ling'er plopped down on his lap. "Charging…"
Jiang Chenyu whipped out a stack of marriage contracts. "Sign here first, we can discuss dowries later~"
Xiao Yang: "???"
[Ding! Emotional Harmony Activated: Affection Level at 100% MAX][Duration: 30 minutes][Side Effect: All memories retained]
Xiao Yang nearly passed out. "Liuli! This is harmony to you?!"
Liuli shrugged. "Would you rather they beat you to death?"
(4)What followed was the most surreal 30 minutes of Xiao Yang's life—
Ye Qingxuan mixed cocktails with poison as the base.Yan Hongling roasted sweet potatoes with her life flame.Lin Hanyi peeled apples with sword aura and cut them into heart shapes.Feng Ling'er used his thigh as a literal sword sheath, unsheathing and resheathing repeatedly.Jiang Chenyu calculated wedding expenses using a full-blown abacus.
To top it off, Liuli gave live commentary the whole time:[Ye Qingxuan +10 affection → 110%][Yan Hongling +15 affection → 115%][...]
With three minutes left, Xiao Yang lay on the ground like a broken doll, eyes lifeless.
"Liuli..." he whispered hoarsely, "please… just kill me..."
Suddenly, Liuli's eyes sparkled. "Wait! I've detected a sixth Emotional Thread approaching!"
Xiao Yang: "..."Is suicide still an option?
(5)A soft bell jingled outside the cave.
A cheerful voice echoed in: "Found you~ my love bug king~"
A young girl danced into the cave, dressed in exotic Miao attire. She looked about sixteen or seventeen, with tanned skin, bare feet adorned with silver bells, long legs beneath a short skirt, and a waist full of colorful gu containers. Her most striking feature was a pair of emerald green eyes, sparkling with life.
[Ding! New Emotional Host Detected][Name: A'Man (Gu Immortal · Green Thread of Emotion)][Traits: Immune to all Gu / Master of Love Gu][Danger Level: ★★★★☆]
A'Man's smile froze as she saw the chaotic scene. "Oopsie~ Did I arrive late?"
Five waves of killing intent locked onto her instantly.
A'Man stuck out her tongue and pulled out a rainbow-colored gu pot. "Relax~ I brought gifts~"
She opened the pot. A translucent pink butterfly fluttered out, sprinkling shimmering dust in the air.
[Warning! Top-tier Love Gu Detected][Effect: Forced Estrus Mode Activated]
Before Xiao Yang could run, the dust showered down on him.
(6)As his body began to overheat, Xiao Yang had one last coherent thought—
What the actual hell kind of nightmare harem hell is this?!
(End of Chapter)
Next Chapter Preview: Chapter 7 – "This Love Gu Feels... Suspicious!"• How will Xiao Yang survive the "Estrus Mode"?• What's A'Man's true identity?• Liuli's system powers spiral out of control again?!• More heroines are on their way—?!