The pixelated sun rose in jagged increments, its light flickering like a dying lightbulb. Yamete sat up from the patch of repeating grass texture he'd slept on, his back sore from what he suspected were improperly rendered rocks.
"Rise and shine, dumbass!" GLich-chan materialized mid-air, her wings displaying a buffering icon. "Day 2 of you not dying! Achievement unlocked: 'Basic Survival Skills (Probably a Bug)'."
Yamete groaned. "Why does the sun look like a Minecraft pumpkin?"
"Budget cuts."
---
GLich-chan floated toward the town gates—or what should have been gates. Currently, it was just two floating doorframes with a "Under Construction" sign dangling from invisible strings.
"Welcome to Glitchvale! Population: Buggy." She gestured grandly at:
- A blacksmith shop where the anvil clipped through the roof
- NPCs walking into walls, then resetting their pathfinding
- A chicken that vibrated violently in place, its hitbox clearly in another dimension
Yamete poked the chicken. His finger went straight through.
"That's Steve. He's... special."* GLich-chan patted the spectral bird.
---
A notification popped:
[DAILY QUEST: "Obtain Food (Optional)"]
- Find edible items (Definition of 'edible' may vary)
- Reward: 1x "Probably Safe" Meal
"Wow. Inspiring." Yamete trudged toward the market, where a vendor stood behind a stall labeled "Food?".
The items:
- Bread Loaf (Texture: Unrendered purple cube)
- Suspicious Meat (Labelled "Probably Not Rat")
- Health Potion (Description: "Drink at your own risk. May cause existential crisis.")
Yamete picked up the bread. It weighed nothing. "How do I even eat this?"
"Just pretend! Immersion!" GLich-chan demonstrated by miming chewing.
He took a bite. The bread make eating sound from minecraft and disappeared from his inventory. "Did I just eat it or did it despawn?"
"Yes."
---
The Adventurer's Guild was supposed to be their next stop. Instead, they found:
- A empty lot with a sign that read "Guild (Coming Soon! Maybe!)"
- A single NPC named "Placeholder Dave" who only said, "Dialogue not found."
Yamete kicked a rock. It didn't move. "That's not a rock. That's a misplaced texture."
"Observant!" GLich-chan clapped. "Anyway, since the guild's bugged, here's your starter mission!"
[MAIN QUEST: "Why Is This River Floating?"]
- Investigate the glitched river (It's 20 feet in the air)
- Reward: "The Satisfaction of a Job Barely Done"
---
The river hovered mid-air, water flowing upward. Fish swam sideways. A sign nearby read: "Do Not Question."
Yamete sighed. "Okay, how do we fix this?"
"No clue!" GLich-chan chirped. "But you've got cheats! Try something!"
Yamete opened his cheat menu:
1. Freeze Value (HP/MP) – Useless.
2. Item Dupe – Made a copy of his shoe. Now he had two left shoes.
3. Speed Hack – He zipped forward—then fell through the ground again.
"I hate everything."
"Noted!"
---
After an hour of poking things:
- Yamete threw a rock at the river. It phased through.
- He tried swimming in the air. He just floated there, stuck in a t-pose.
- GLich-chan suggested "turning it off and on again", but neither knew where the world's power button was.
Finally, Yamete yelled: "RESET THE DAMN RIVER!"
A system message appeared:
[ADMIN OVERRIDE ACCEPTED]
Processing...
The river "blinked" out of existence—then reappeared on the ground. Mostly. Parts of it were now made of lava.
"Good enough!" GLich-chan high-fived the air.
[QUEST COMPLETE!]
Reward: 5 EXP (Expired Coupon)
---
As the blocky moon rose, Yamete sat by a campfire (which was just an animated GIF of flames).
"This world makes no sense."
"Correction," GLich-chan said, "it makes 'bad' sense." She pulled up a status screen:
[WORLD PROGRESS: 12% Loaded]
- NPC AI: 30% Functional
- Physics: Disabled
- Plot: "We'll Figure It Out"
Yamete stared into the fake fire. "Is there even an end goal?"
"Sure!" GLich-chan grinned. "Survive. Or don't. The game might crash first."
In the distance, a wolf howled. Then the sound looped endlessly.
"...I miss my shitty apartment."
"Too bad!" GLich-chan snickered. "Tomorrow, we fix a bridge that's just two disconnected halves! Fun!"
Yamete groaned as the chapter faded to black—literally. The screen froze for 3 seconds before cutting to credits.