> "First she stole my stage. Then my school. Now she's trying to trademark sparkle-based law enforcement."
— Sona Shitori, about to snap like a glowstick
---
[Location: Student Council Office – Post-Audition Chaos]
Sona (reading a new regulation scroll):
> "She submitted a Magical Girl School Protection Act.
Article One: All emotional damage must be followed by a hug.
Article Two: Glitter is mandatory on Mondays."
Tsubaki (sweating):
> "She's rewritten the disciplinary manual in rhyme…"
Sona (gritting her teeth):
> "I'm going to kill her. With style."
---
[Scene: Rias Enters, Smiling Too Hard]
Rias:
> "Sona. I hear you're upset.
You should relax. Maybe… put on something cute."
Sona:
> "If I see one more ribbon, I'm filing a celestial injunction."
Rias (handing her a costume):
> "Perfect.
Because the Magical Rivalry Festival Showdown begins at 3 p.m.
You're already signed up."
Sona:
> "WHAT?!"
Rias (winking):
> "All's fair in sparkle and war."
---
[Scene: Rooftop – MC Watching With Utter Disbelief]
MC (watching Serafall rehearse laser-tipped pirouettes):
> "This timeline is now legally classified as a sitcom."
Kazuma (in the chat group):
> "Quick question:
If a magical girl war breaks out and it's recorded on school security cams… is that blackmail material or modern art?"
Deadpool:
> "Depends. Are they using glitter grenades?
…Asking for science."
---
[Scene: 3:00 p.m. – The Magical Duel Begins]
Serafall descends on a meteor made of sparkles.
Sona appears in a full tactical magical girl uniform she swears she didn't design herself.
Serafall:
> "Sona-tan! Let's battle for justice, friendship, and principal dominance!"
Sona (charging):
> "I'm going to erase your transformation sequence from existence!"
Rias (commentating over the PA):
> "And now, two high-ranking devils fight over fashion, sparkle supremacy, and unpaid glitter taxes!"
---
[Final Shot – MC Sipping Tea in the Background While Chaos Explodes]
MC (to himself):
> "This school has two types of people:
Ones who go mad.
And ones who design the madness."
He walks away from the explosions.
The theme song plays behind him.
---
End of Magical Girl War Bonus Scene