It all started… with a blinding light.
Akira was walking down the street with a dopey smile on his face, holding a bag of manga like it was a sacred trophy.
The special edition of "My Cousin Turned Into a Sexy Slime and Now Rules the School" was finally in his hands.
Everything was going great.
He had left class early to reach the store before other fans wiped out the last copies.
He even skillfully dodged a group of volleyball girls who usually used him as a human spike target.
That day, the universe seemed to be aligned with his interests.
He passed by his usual café—and they even gave him an extra stamp on his loyalty card.
"Two more and I get the Simmone Magical Girl keychain…" he whispered, tucking it away like it was a legendary grimoire.
The world was a decent place.
At least for a moment.
He stopped in front of a small park. Sat on a bench—just for a second—to check out the contents of the freshly bought volume.
It smelled of fresh ink, cheap plastic… and questionable editorial decisions.
His fingers brushed against a fold-out illustration of Yuna—the wind elf in a maid outfit—and he sighed in bliss.
"If I had to die right now… I'd die happy. Like a hero who fell in battle after confessing to his favorite waifu."
On his phone, still locked, a notification blinked, unnoticed:
Mom: We're having meatballs tonight. Don't forget to bring rice and beer for your dad.
He ignored it.
He carefully placed the poster inside his folder, adjusted his backpack with the sacred ritual of "don't wrinkle anything," and stood up.
"What a wonderful day… Nothing could ruin it."
"Unless, I don't know, an alien abduction like in DeeDaDee," he said, covering his nether regions like he could protect them through sheer willpower. "I don't want to lose my little buddies like the protagonist did…"
And then, the sky lit up.
Literally.
A beam of light engulfed him within seconds.
There were no screams.
No panic.
No one ran.
Just an old lady who saw him floating up slowly and muttered with a peaceful smile:
"My, how technology's advancing these days… ho ho ho."
"Eh? WHAT—?!"
As he rose, still trying to process what was happening, the bag in his hand slipped. His manga fell to the ground like autumn leaves, and along with them…
"Nooo! My Yuna figure! It was limited edition…!"
He reached for it, but his feet were no longer touching the ground. His body kept rising, swallowed by the beam of light, like part of some alien experiment—animated on a mid-budget.
The sky grew brighter.
And then… darkness.
When he came to, he was lying on a metallic surface—cold and slightly sticky.
He blinked. A greenish light blinded him for a second, and as he looked up...
"Is that… a little green alien?"
In front of him stood a short figure with bright green skin, huge black eyes, and an oversized head staring straight at him.
"Greeetings, Earthling…" it said in a nasally voice.
Akira opened his mouth to scream.
"Please, not my little buddies!"
But the "alien" sighed and pulled off the mask.
Beneath it was an androgynous figure with amethyst eyes and violet hair that floated unnaturally, ignoring gravity entirely. Their clothes shimmered like a poorly rendered hologram.
"Ugh, this outfit's way out of fashion…"
"Hi, I'm Uzaki, god of the Divarius Universe, and you've been chosen to become the hero who will save Faraluz," they said in a soft, ambiguous voice.
They bowed in mid-air, floating more out of laziness than magic.
"I still have no idea what you're saying, girl."
"I'm not a girl! I'm an all-powerful god!"
"Although, yes—my form may be a bit confusing for your species."
"Are you the god of femboys? Is this a dream?"
"I don't know… Do you usually dream about femboys?"
Akira stared at him in silence. For a moment, his brain disconnected from reality.
"And who exactly are you, Femboy-sama?" he asked, playing along with a mocking tone.
"Me? A god, I think… or at least that's what it says on my social security card." Uzaki gave him a once-over. "Hmm… Can this guy actually work? He's got all the signs of a generic otaku."
He pulled out a worn notebook labeled: "Heroes Who Rejected My Offer" and scratched off a line.
"I brought you here because you're the best candidate to be a hero…"
"Don't lie. I can read that notebook from here. It literally says 'Heroes Who Rejected My Offer.'"
"Someone must've labeled it wrong. Probably a new intern," Uzaki said with a nervous smile that radiated zero trust.
"Riiight…"
"But don't worry! You'll do great. You've got that vibe of a protagonist who pulls a power-up out of nowhere, beats the demon king, and builds a harem of beautiful women."
Akira raised an eyebrow.
"…Is that a good thing or a red flag?"
"Depends on your emotional stability… and tolerance for relationship drama."
Akira paused, stroking his chin.
"Now you've got my attention. Can I be a powerful protagonist? Like that invincible skeleton mage… or the guy who solves everything with his smartphone. Oh wait—how about a legendary swordsman with holy blades?"
"Yep, sure, all of that," Uzaki replied, feigning enthusiasm.
"And my waifus. I want at least a hundred. No—sky's the limit!"
"Of course. We've got vampires, demons, demi-humans, elves, dwarves… every isekai cliché you could want."
"Now we're speaking the same language. Tell me… can I pick my powers and items?"
"Totally. You just tell me what you want and then… we'll see."
Akira narrowed his eyes.
"That doesn't inspire confidence."
"Well, you know… interdimensional paperwork, divine protocols, cosmic HR forms. God stuff. You wouldn't understand."
"This is starting to sound like one of those pyramid schemes where they promise you'll be your own boss."
"But… we have elves."
"That's what I thought."
Uzaki snapped his fingers.
"I'll grant you a unique ability. You'll see it once you arrive in Faraluz."
"Why not now?"
"Now's… not the time. It's, uh… private."
"That's not what I meant! Why can't you just give it to me now?!"
"It's the portal's decision. Out of my hands. But don't worry—it'll definitely match your hero profile. Or… your personality. No promises."
"That sounds dangerously vague."
"Exactly. You're getting it."
"Fine. What's next?"
"You can choose your hero weapon."
"I want an orbital space base that rains down lasers from the sky!" he said, eyes sparkling.
"Denied."
"Okay, okay… a mecha then!"
"Denied."
"Twin pistols…?"
"I'll give you a katana. And even that's pushing it."
"…Well, I guess it's better than nothing."
"Anything else you want?"
"Yes," Akira said, blushing with excitement. "I want a beautiful blonde elf as my companion. Pointy ears. Mage. Super sexy."
"Yes, yes, I've got it written down," Uzaki replied while pretending to scribble.
Then he fake-checked a non-existent watch drawn on his wrist.
"Wow… time really flies when you're having fun."
He floated closer to Akira and handed him something.
It was a phone. Taped together. The screen was cracked.
"…What the hell is this? It looks like a thirty-year-old Panumonic someone pulled out of a dumpster!"
"Don't worry about it. It'll fix itself once you reach the kingdom."
"That doesn't inspire confidence."
"Exactly! You're adapting."
As they spoke, a glowing circle began to form under Akira's feet. Weird runes appeared and vanished like the magic system itself was winging it.
Uzaki reached into his pocket and found something he'd completely forgotten.
"Oops! Almost forgot. Here—" he tossed a small object, which bounced in the air and landed in Akira's hands.
"What is this?"
"Your hero catalyst," Uzaki explained. "You'll need it to use your special powers."
"Was there no version that didn't look like a dollar-store toy?"
"With a real budget? Maybe. But here… nah."
"Don't lose it. If it breaks… we improvise."
The circle finished activating.
The floor started dissolving under his feet.
Akira began to sink into the light.
"Best of luck, Otaku-kun!" Uzaki called, waving cheerfully.
The light engulfed him.
And then—everything turned white.
And so began Akira's new adventure.
Meanwhile, Uzaki remained floating in his dimensional chamber, shaping the space around him like a stage.
"Should I have warned him about Faraluz's condition…?" he mused aloud. "…Nah, he'll be fine."
A butler with the form of a refined werewolf approached, pushing a cart with steaming tea and colorful pastries.
"Uzaki-sama, how did it go with your new candidate?"
"Oh, Lawrence, perfect timing," Uzaki said, spinning a teaspoon between his fingers. "I think he's a solid pick… not like we had many to choose from."
"I see, my lord."
"Well, now we wait. For now… let's enjoy the show."
And somewhere in the background… the gears began to turn.
The performance had just begun.