Chapter 1 — Welcome to Hell Inc.
Rei Sakamoto awoke to the smell of burning ink.
Not the acrid scent of paper catching fire, but something worse—like infernal toner baked into parchment laced with sin. His head throbbed, though he had no body, and his tongue felt like it was still tasting budget instant coffee from the breakroom he'd left—no, died in.
I really did die, didn't I? he thought, groggy.
He opened his eyes—figuratively—and found himself seated in an office chair made of what could only be described as polished bone and regret. Before him stood a demon in business attire, adjusting a tie made from soul-threads that shimmered like blood in moonlight.
The demon leaned forward, pushing a clipboard across the obsidian desk. "Welcome to Hell Inc., Mr. Sakamoto. We're thrilled to have you join our middle-executive management track."
Rei stared.
The demon continued, unfazed. "My name is Vexor, orientation liaison for Earth Sector deaths. You died—tragically, yes—during unpaid overtime. Rare case of an enchanted copier overloading due to karmic imbalance. Burned you into the wallpaper."
Rei tried to process that. "I was… burned into the wallpaper?"
"Technically, absorbed. Quite efficient, really. But we digress."
Vexor snapped his fingers, and a glowing red interface flared into view above Rei's desk. It hovered in the air, flickering like fire trapped in glass.
> [SYSTEM BOOTING…]
Welcome, Rei Sakamoto.
Position: Provisional Executive — Department of Rebirth Logistics.
Rank: Soul Quotient: 0
Your trial begins now.
"What the hell is this?" Rei said, instinctively reaching out. His fingers passed through the screen, but the data shifted in response.
"The System," Vexor replied with practiced boredom. "Custom-built for Executive-tier souls. You manage metrics, personnel, karmic flows. Think of it like corporate heaven for damned efficiency nerds."
"I was a marketing analyst," Rei muttered.
"Exactly. You're perfect for Hell."
He stood shakily, legs uncertain beneath him. The world around was a nightmare of cubicles stretching into eternity—lava rivers pulsing between break rooms, infernal copiers spitting out forms with demonic laughter, and upper-floor elevators labeled only with "FORGOTTEN GODS — DO NOT PRESS."
"So this is the afterlife," Rei whispered.
"Not quite," said Vexor. "You're in Afterlife Administration. We don't punish souls, we process them. Every reincarnation request, every judgment, every karmic appeal—runs through us. And unfortunately, due to recent staff shortages…"
He handed Rei a flaming employee handbook that hissed when touched.
"…you're being fast-tracked."
"Fast-tracked to what, exactly?"
"To saving the multiversal reincarnation pipeline from collapse."
Rei blinked. "Right. Of course. Naturally."
A sudden alert pinged from the System screen:
> New Task Assigned: Resolve Karma Overflow in Subsector A-14.
Soul Intake Backlog: 49,329
Deadline: 8 Minutes.
Failure Consequence: Demotion to Torment Janitor (Probationary).
He choked. "Eight minutes?!"
Vexor adjusted his demonic spectacles. "Hell Inc. values efficiency. And failure has… aromatic consequences."
Before Rei could protest, the demon gestured. The office around them rippled—walls dissolving into smoke, cubicles folding in on themselves—and they reappeared inside another room. A glowing map of Earth Sector 3112 was suspended in the air, with dozens of red lights blinking frantically.
"Your first team awaits," Vexor said, waving at a door. "Remember: every soul mishandled creates karmic debt. Every karmic debt feeds the Wrath Division. And if the Wrath Division grows too big…" He smiled, teeth like razors. "We all suffer."
The door creaked open.
Inside sat three… beings.
An oni intern with a Bluetooth headset and a glowing briefcase full of rebirth forms.
A spectral grandmother with a clipboard and the attitude of a retired war general.
And a three-headed bureaucratic serpent that hissed in triplicate and smelled like burnt incense and coffee.
They looked at Rei expectantly.
He swallowed hard. "So… you're my department?"
The oni saluted with a grunt. "Rebirth Logistics, sir! Been six thousand years since our last audit!"
"Great," Rei muttered. "What could possibly go wrong?"
Just then, the lights dimmed. The System flared again.
> Alert: Unauthorized Divine Oversight Detected. Auditor Inbound.
A chill ran through the office.
Vexor paled. "Already? That was fast."
The walls shifted again—and in walked a tall figure wrapped in celestial robes, ink-black hair tied in a flawless bun, eyes glowing with cold fire.
Seraphina Vale. Divine Compliance Division.
Rei felt a jolt—not fear, exactly, but something between dread and awe. Her gaze swept across the room, settling on him like a blade placed gently at the throat.
"You're the anomaly?" she asked, voice as crisp as an invoice.
Rei cleared his throat, standing straighter than he had in life. "I'm the solution, actually. Or at least… working on it."
Seraphina raised an eyebrow. "We'll see."
And just like that, Rei Sakamoto's first day in Hell began—with 49,000 souls to process, a three-headed HR serpent on his team, and a celestial auditor who looked ready to file divine complaints through his face.
He took a deep breath.
"Right then," he muttered. "Let's get to work."