[Scanning…]
The data flooded her consciousness in real time, streaming across her synaptic network with cold precision.
Name: Dracula Von Death
Age: 40
Background: ex military.
Status: single, unemployed, broke.
Affinity Index: 100 percent
Seeing this her breath hitched.
"After all this time…"
Her voice was barely above a whisper, but her lips coated in black lipstick curled into a slow grin, after all this time she finally found someone who could be possibly fill her existential void.
...
MC's POV
I stared, still trying to process the absolute anomaly unfolding in front of me.
The g*ddess of a woman, the same giaru, leather clad, high heeled fantasy I had already decided was out of my league was walking directly toward me. Correction.
She wasn't just walking. She was stalking, gliding, moving with the kind of controlled confidence that didn't belong in a random supermarket parking lot.
And then, before I could even begin to figure out why the hell she was approaching me, she leaned down, resting her hands on my open car window.
The scent of something sweet yet sharp like spiced fruit and danger aka lilic and gousse berries, hit me as she leaned closer, eyes hidden behind those dark black glasses.
Her black, red, and white slightly curled ponytail swayed slightly as she tilted her head, lips curving up in an expression that was too amused for my liking. And then, she spoke.
"Long time no see, handsome."
Her voice was a slow, velvety purr, drenched in amusement and something else I couldn't quite place. For a solid two seconds, my brain short circuited.
Huh? Handsome?
I blinked, my mind scrambling for some logical explanation.
Me?
She was definitely talking to me. There was no one else in the car, and unless she was hitting on the dented dashboard, I was the only target in range.
I should have said something smooth. I should have played along, laughed it off, or at least not looked like a g*dsdamn idiot.
Instead. My face twisted into the exact expression of someone who just ate s*it and realized it too late. The f*ck is happening?
Something wasn't right. Something was very, very wrong here. I frowned, gripping the steering wheel before finally finding my voice.
"Hey, lady, I get it,"
I snapped, flicking my cigarette onto the pavement with more force than necessary.
"You're rich as f*ck. Maybe even the g*dsdamn Empress of the world. And I'm just a poor, ugly peasant in your eyes, but..."
I exhaled sharply, frustration rising.
"... did you really have to ruin my day like this?"
Her smirk didn't fade. In fact. It widened. And that set off every single psycho switch in my head.
...
FL POV
She placed her hands on her hips, rolling her shoulders slightly as she let out an exasperated sigh.
"Von Death huh? Sounds like some kind of wana be vilans name dont you think? A darling material for sure, dense as f*ck I love It."
Her purple eyes gleamed with undisguised amusement as she stared at the man slouched in the driver's seat, still looking at her like she had spoken in an ancient, forgotten dialect.
A bombshell of a woman tells him he's handsome straight to his face, and his first reaction? Suspicion. What an unlogical and unexpected response.
This was exactly what she craved, she didnt want a logical, rational, predictive meatbag but an unruly thug that didnt give a flying f*ck.
She tilted her head slightly, observing him as he blinked, his expression shifting from mild wrath to full blown paranoia.
...
MC's POV
I stared at her. Is she mentally impaired or what? What the f*ck Is she talking about? No, wait. That wasn't important. How the f*ck does she know my last name?
I didn't introduce myself. I didn't have any dog tags or ID visible. And unless she was some clairvoyant fortune teller or a government tracker, there was no reason she should have pulled that name out of nowhere.
This wasn't a coincidence. My fingers tightened on the steering wheel as my instincts started firing warning flares in every direction.
I narrowed my eyes.
"Hey, Miss 'I'm Overflowing with Money,' I don't have time for this nonsense. See you never."
I rolled up the window before she could say another word, turned the key in the ignition… And to my surprise. The engine roared to life on the first try for once.
Huh. That never happens.
I grunted, throwing the car into gear and pulling out of the parking space. Better to put some distance between me and whatever weird game this woman was playing.
...
FL POV
She watched as her big bad dense as f*ck potential hubbies car lurched forward, his escape so unpredictable that she barely had time to blink. Still, she clicked her tongue, a small smirk forming at the edge of her lips.
"Tch. Is this what meatbags call falling In love at first sight?"
Her pupils glowed faintly golden again, as she connected to the ancient, rusted machines he was trying to run away in electronics.
As she did the next second the junk heap coughed once. Then twice. Then. Silence. The engine cut out like a dying animal. She smirked.
"Hehehe trying to run away from me, not happening."
...
MC's POV
"Motherf*cker, G*DSDAMN PIECE OF JUNK!"
The car gave out mid turn, forcing me to slam the brakes before I rolled into traffic like a drunken idiot.
I cursed under my breath, yanking the handbrake up, exhaling sharply before gripping the door handle.
This g*dsdamn trash bin of mine. The one time it starts on the first try, it f*cking dies two minutes later. I shoved the door open, stepping out and popping the canopy hood, hoping that somehow, against all odds, I'd find something I could fix.
Nothing. I had no f*cking clue what I was looking at. Even though I knew how to fix a panzer engine on the spot.
The mess of wires, the rusted components, the decaying battery, yeah. This thing had been on borrowed time for years. Finally, my patience snapped.
SLAM.
I slammed the hood shut with a little too much force.
"You piece of s*it!"
I stepped back and delivered a hard kick to the front bumper, causing the whole car to shake and groan in protest.
"I swear, if I had the money, I'd throw your worthless ass into a f*cking scrapyard!"
One more kick. Then another. Eventually, I ran out of steam, panting slightly as I leaned back against the hood.
I pulled out a cigarette, inhaled sharply, trying to calm my nerves. And then. A familiar voice cut through the air.
"Need a ride?"
I froze mid drag. I turned my head slowly, dreading what I'd see. And sure enough. There she was. The annoying rich and crazy woman.
Standing by her ridiculously expensive sports car, twirling her car keys around her danty pinky finger, a knowing smirk on her black lipstick covered lips.
I stared. What the f*ck? She was still here? Did she seriously just wait for me to suffer like some sadistic g*ddess of misfortune?
Was she just hell bent on making a fool out of me? Or, and this was a long shot. Did I really still have it? Was Fortuna herself actually madly in love with me?
…Nah.
If she was, I wouldn't have been born a g*dsdamn pauper driving a dying relic of the past. I sighed, rubbing my temples. I already knew this woman was trouble.
But the real question was. What the hell did she want from me?
I exhaled a thick cloud of smoke, cigarette hanging from one side of my lips, while I spoke from the other like the smoking pro I was, my voice filled with raw frustration.
"Hey, just what the F*CK do you want from me?"
I shoved my hands into my pockets, standing there like a man who had lost all patience with the universe itself.
"I'm a fourty year old, bankrupt bachelor with a beer belly, a limp d*ck, and the only thing I know is how to storm trenches and clear buildings. I'm neither handsome, tall or rich, so what the F*CK?!"
She just smirked. Like she knew something I didn't. Like my entire existence was some kind of inside joke to her. I was about to press her for an answer.
Then a glint. A flash of reflected light caught in the corner of my eye. My military reflexes honed deep Into my bone marrow kicked in before my brain even had the chance to process what was happening.
"GET DOWN!"
I sprinted forward, moving with a speed I didn't even know I still had, and tackled her to the ground. The moment our bodies hit the asphalt.
BANG!
A gunshot. A split second later, a bullet punched into the pavement exactly where she had been standing.
I didn't need to think. I didn't need to guess. The deep, bone rattling impact, the way the ground cracked, the sheer power behind it.