Let's be real for a sec.
Starting a journey with two girls you barely know sounds like the beginning of either a great adventure or a very confusing harem anime. In my case, it's probably both. So there I was, hoodie still on like a champ, trailing behind Lumine and Paimon like a mysterious NPC who somehow glitched into the party.
"Alright! Time to head to the Statue of the Seven!" Paimon chirped like she was on a sugar high.
I rolled my eyes. I love this floating emergency food-I mean, fairy-more than I'd like to admit, but damn, does she talk. Like non-stop. Like she's got Bluetooth connected to her own mouth.
The trek wasn't bad though. The wind was nice, and the sun made it all feel surreal. Starfell Lake came into view, and my inner Genshin player started freaking out.
"Holy shit," I whispered. "This is where you get your first elemental power. I remember this from the game..."
Paimon flew ahead, doing loopty-loops. Lumine walked ahead like the protagonist she is-cool, silent, and way too used to weirdos like me tagging along.
"Hey, Shigeru, you okay?" Lumine asked.
"I'm good," I replied. "Just having an existential moment. You know, gamer nostalgia and all."
Lumine raised an eyebrow. "Gamer?"
"Don't worry about it."
I was geeking out, man. Like, imagine walking up to the Statue of the Seven in real life. I half-expected the game UI to pop up. Spoiler: it didn't. But the statue? Still majestic as hell.
"This is where you can resonate with the Anemo element!" Paimon explained like a tutorial screen I couldn't skip.
In my head, I was screaming. "This is why players beg for a dialogue skip button, Paimon. You're adorable, but my God."
Lumine stepped up to the statue, placed her hand on it, and boom-green swirly wind particles everywhere. She glowed. She radiated power. It was all very anime.
And me?
I stared. Then I thought: Hey... what if I touched it too?
Was it dumb? Maybe. Was I curious? Absolutely.
So I stepped up casually, looked at the statue like, "Sup," and slapped my palm against it.
I expected nothing.
I got sparkles.
Wind blew up around me, my hoodie flapped like I was in a music video, and I swear I heard dramatic music in my head.
"...wait," I muttered. "Did I just... get Anemo powers?"
Lumine and Paimon turned to stare.
"What the-" Paimon's mouth dropped. "Did he just-?"
Lumine narrowed her eyes. "That's not supposed to happen."
I grinned like an idiot. "Hell yeah, baby! I got the wind!"
Paimon blinked. "This doesn't make any sense! You're not the Traveler!"
"I mean... define 'Traveler,'" I said with finger quotes. "I traveled dimensions, does that count?"
Lumine tilted her head. "You did mention you were an outlander."
"See? Credentials."
Paimon groaned. "This is gonna be a weird journey."
I was too busy spinning in a circle to test my new wind powers. Nothing happened. I tried again. Still nothing.
"Okay, maybe I got the bootleg version," I muttered.
Paimon buzzed over. "Did it actually give you powers or did you just get a tan from the statue?"
"Don't kill my vibe, flying sidekick."
Of course, this launched another twenty-minute lecture from Paimon on the lore, the history, the blah blah blah-and I swear, I almost threw myself into the lake. Lumine was used to it, nodding and humming while I stood there like a half-baked NPC glitching in real time.
Eventually, we continued toward Mondstadt.
But then it hit me.
Wait.
Wait wait wait.
Wasn't this the part where we get to see a literal dragon?
I stopped mid-step. "Oh fuck, I know what happens next."
Lumine turned. "What is it?"
I waved it off. "Nothing, just... dragon flashbacks."
Because yep, this was the part where Stormterror a.k.a. Dvalin shows up while Venti is out here calming his ass like it's Dragon throwing tantrums. And what happens in the game? Paimon, with her loud ass, yells something stupid and the dragon notices them.
I looked at her.
She was humming.
Innocently.
I narrowed my eyes. "I need to shut her up."
So I did the only logical thing: I casually walked up to her, tossed my arm over her shoulder like we were bros, and whispered, "Hey Paimon, quick question."
"Huh?"
I pulled out an apple. "Want a snack?"
She lit up like it was Christmas, took it, and began munching happily.
Good. That would keep her mouth occupied.
But I didn't stop there.
I jogged up ahead and spotted the clearing. Sure enough, Venti was up there, trying to calm the stupid dragon looking all majestic and mysterious like the bard god he is. Dvalin hovered above him, massive and terrifying and also kind of majestic.
Lumine and Paimon caught up.
"Should we get closer-" Paimon started.
"Nope." I cut in, shoving a second apple into her hands. "We're just admiring from afar. Super cool, huh? Let's not interrupt the dragon taming."
And for once, Lumine didn't object. Maybe she sensed something. Or maybe she just didn't want a repeat of me doing stupid things again.
We stood there in silence, which was honestly the most peaceful part of the whole trip so far.
Venti continues to coax this dragon like he's experiencing his first mensural cycle. Damn, it reminds me of my stupid ex-girlfriend.
Dvalin's head turned. For a terrifying second, I thought we were spotted.
But then...
He sighed.
Like, a legit sigh-a tired dad sigh-and flapped his wings before disappearing into the distance.
No roar. No aggressive swoop. No cinematic camera pan. Just a sigh and poof. Gone.
Venti looked toward us.
I braced for it.
I knew the line: "Who goes there?!"
But instead... he just blinked.
Then vanished like my motivation on a Monday.
And that was it.
I turned to Paimon. "You're welcome."
"For what?" she asked, mouth still full of apple.
"For not getting us eaten by a dragon, that's what."
Lumine squinted. "You knew this would happen, didn't you?"
I grinned. "Let's just say... I have my sources."
I wasn't gonna spoil the entire Archon Quest line just yet.
Just the parts that could get us roasted alive.
Besides, I couldn't help it.
Venti was my first five-star.
You never forget your first.
***
So, I'm just standing there, basking in the epic moment of two people acquiring elemental powers from a shiny statue like it's a damn vending machine, when I notice it. That tear crystal-looking thing sitting all alone on the ground like it's about to start a K-drama monologue about being abandoned by life.
I nudge Lumine. "Hey. That tear crystal. We need that. Probably."
She blinks at me. "What is it?"
"I mean, if I remember correctly-which I do, thank you very much-that thing's laced with corrupted abyssal sadness or some anime-grade tragic nonsense. We'll need it for, like, twelve quests from now. Might as well pocket it."
Lumine picks it up, holding it like it's going to explode. Paimon's yapping something in the background, but I've become very good at muting her out. It's like developing a passive skill called Selective Hearing: Paimon Edition.
Anyway, we're walking again. You'd think, hey, that was enough for one day. Nope. This is Teyvat. Peace is illegal here.
I'm trying to remember what the hell happens next. I'm like, okay, okay... we did the statue thing, got our powers, tear crystal's secured. What now?
"Hey you! stay right there!"
Ah. There it is. Right on time.
I stop mid-step, already smiling like an idiot. Because that voice? That's the energetic bunny girl who singlehandedly raised my early-game adventure rank back when I was a broke noob.
I turn around slowly. And there she is.
Amber. Complete with her Outrider outfit, those floppy bunny ribbon, that overly dramatic stance like she's about to arrest me for tax evasion.
Lumine tenses beside me. Paimon's already starting another monologue about the knights or something.
But me?
I am absolutely having a moment.
"Outrider Amber reporting for duty!"
I whisper to myself, "The bunny girl appears... But alas, she is no Nilou."
Don't get me wrong. Amber's adorable. Kind-hearted. Has a cute glider and a plushie that explodes. What's not to love?
But.
Nilou exists.
And I'm a Nilou simp through and through. Amber's got energy, but Nilou's got grace. Fluidity. Art. Elegance. Personality. And don't even get me started on the dance moves. My standards are astral-level high, and I will not apologize for it.
Anyway, Amber starts doing her thing. Asking who we are, why we're here, are we threats to Mondstadt, etc. All very official.
I'm about to answer when Lumine steps up and tries to explain. But of course, I interrupt. "We're adventurers! Kind of. Outlanders! Also kind of. Travelers? Okay maybe not. But hey, we're friendly."
Amber narrows her eyes at me. "You're... a traveler too?"
"No combat experience whatsoever," I say proudly. "Unless you count smacking a dendro slime with a stick yesterday."
Amber looks at me like I've confessed to licking hilichurls for fun.
"But," I add quickly, holding up a finger, "I have an extremely important skill."
She looks interested. "Which is?"
"I know what's going to happen next in the Archon Quest."
Everyone stares at me.
"Archon Quest? What was that?" Amber asked confusedly.
"I'm serious," I whisper. "You'll see. In like, five minutes, we're going to fight hilichurls. Then a dragon's going to scream. Then you'll be really impressed with Lumine's anemo powers. Trust me."
Amber's about to say something when I add, "Oh! And you'll give us a glider. God, I miss gliding..."
That part earns me an even weirder look. She taps her foot.
"Let's go to the city," she says finally, clearly thinking I hit my head somewhere between the statue and the crystal.
"Lead the way, outrider!" I salute, marching proudly ahead like I didn't just mentally rank every playable female character from cuteness to queen.
This is it.
This is where it really begins.
The Archon Quest.
Let's fucking go!
And maybe, just maybe, I'll keep Paimon from opening her mouth when Stormterror appears again.
...But no promises.
__________________________________
End of Chapter 3
Quest Completed: Shut Paimon up.
Rewards: Not dying in the hands of a terrifyingly large dragon, a suspicious tear-shaped crystal, and a cute bunny girl companion.